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Band 6+: The charts below show the proportion of graduates with different qualifications working in one engineering company in 1980 and 2008. Summarize the information by describing the main features of the charts and making comparisons where appropriate.

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Image for topic: The charts below show the proportion of graduates with different qualifications working in one engineering company in 1980 and 2008. Summarize the information by describing the main features of the charts and making comparisons where appropriate.

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The image displays two pie charts for the years 1980 and 2008, categorizing degrees by level and subject. In 1980, the distribution was: Ph.D - Science at 25%, Ph.D - Art at 2%, Master - Science at 29%, Master - Art at 13%, First degree - Science at 20%, and First degree - Art at 11%. In 2008, the distribution was: Ph.D - Science at 30%, Ph.D - Art at 7%, Master - Science at 29%, Master - Art at 12%, First degree - Science at 12%, and First degree - Art at 10%.

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The chart offers a detailed breakdown of the percentage of graduates with various qualifications working in an engineering company in the years 1980 and 2008

Throughout the period, graduates from Master – Science and PH.D – Science consistently accounted for the largest proportion of employees in the engineering firm, while the opposite was true for those from PH.D – Art. By and large, six qualifications were evenly split, with three showing increases and the remaining three sawing declines in 1980 and 2008

At the beginning of the period, 29% of graduates attending in Master – Science work in an engineering company, this figure then saw a minor decrease to 29% as the period drew to a close. Ranked second was those pursuing in Ph. D – Science, initially accounting for 25% before increasing by 5%. Additionally, First-degree graduates in Science came next, with their proportion falling from 20% to 12% over the period.

Regarding the insignificant categories, the percentage of individuals graduated with First degree – Art and Master – Art qualifications followed a relatively similar pattern, standing at around 11% and 13% respectively in 2008 before dropping to 10% and 12% correspondingly. Ph. D – Art had the lowest participation in an enegineering firm over the period, initiating at 2%, although exhibiting the increasing share by 5% in 2008.

Word Count: 220

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

science: 5

graduates: 4

period: 4

qualifications: 3

engineering: 3

master: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by identifying the main trends and making relevant comparisons between the two years. The overview is clear, highlighting the dominance of Science-based qualifications and the minor categories. To improve, ensure more precise mathematical descriptions; for example, stating a figure 'saw a minor decrease to 29%' when it remained at 29% is contradictory. Additionally, be careful with word choices such as 'sawing declines' (should be 'saw declines') and 'graduates attending in' (should be 'graduates with'). Refining these grammatical and lexical inaccuracies will help elevate the report to a higher band.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group information. However, there are some issues with cohesive devices and sentence flow. For instance, the transition between the overview and the details could be smoother. Some sentences are slightly repetitive in structure, and the use of certain linking phrases (like 'By and large') is somewhat imprecise in this context. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices to link ideas more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for describing the data, using terms like 'proportion', 'accounted for', and 'respectively'. However, there are several errors in word choice and spelling (e.g., 'sawing declines' instead of 'saw declines', 'enegineering', and 'graduated with'). There is also some awkward phrasing, such as 'graduates attending in Master - Science' and 'those pursuing in Ph.D'. To reach a higher band, aim for more precise academic collocations and ensure that word forms (nouns, verbs, adjectives) are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report attempts a range of structures, including complex sentences, but grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Ranked second was those'), tense consistency, and preposition usage (e.g., 'pursuing in'). Additionally, there are comma splices where two independent clauses are joined only by a comma. To improve, practice using relative clauses more accurately and pay close attention to sentence boundaries and subject-verb agreement.

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Band 6+: The charts below show the proportion of graduates with different qualifications working in one engineering company in 1980 and 2008. Summarize the information by describing the main features of the charts and making comparisons where appropriate.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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