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Band 5+: The charts below show the proportion of people spending on different commodities and services in a particular European country in 1958 and in 2008.

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The image displays pie charts depicting expenditure proportions on categories in a European country during 1958 and 2008. In 1958, allocations were Housing 22%, Clothing 32%, Entertainment 8%, Food 18%, Travel/transport 13%, Luxury goods 7%. In 2008, distributions shifted to Housing 32%, Clothing 12%, Entertainment 21%, Food 17%, Travel/transport 17%, Luxury goods 6%. Each pie chart segments are labeled with categories accompanied by respective percentage figures.

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The given chart’s demonstrate the propotion of people’s spending on different commodities and services in a particular europian country in 1958 and 2008. The comodities and services inclueds housing, clothing, entertainment, food, travel/transport, and luxury goods. It all being represent in percentages. Allowing us to understand how the propotion of people’s spending on different commodities and services has changed overtime.

Overall, back in 1958, people tend to spend their money mostly on clothing while in 2008, people seems to spend more of their money on housing. In 1958, luxury goods are being seen as something that are not really important, proven by only 7% of people’s money has been spend on luxury goods. While 14% of 2008 people’s money has been spend for luxury goods, meaning that people that year tend to have more interest in buying those kind of things. Nevertheless, travel/transporting is a category that 2008 people’s spend the lowest amount of their money with just 6% of it. Probably beacuse at that time, public transportations has been improved and most people are also having their own vehicle. Meanwhile, people’s in the 50s still have to spend 13% of their money for it.

Furthermore, theres no significant change on how people spend their money on entertainment in the 50s and 2008. Which is 18% and 16%. While food category are having a quite big different. In 2008, people spend 17% of their money on food, meanwhile its only 8% back in the 50s

Word Count: 245

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

spend: 8

money: 8

their: 7

people's: 6

people: 6

luxury: 4

goods: 4

different: 3

services: 3

while: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the task but contains inaccuracies and some misinterpretations of the data. The structure is present, with an overview and some attempt to highlight key features, but the analysis lacks depth and precision. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data and avoid drawing unsupported conclusions. Ensure that all significant trends and differences are noted, and that the language used is precise and clear.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of ideas could be improved. The introduction is present but lacks a clear thesis statement summarizing the main trends. The body paragraphs attempt to compare the data, but the transitions between them are weak, making it difficult to follow the analysis. The 'overall' paragraph is a good start, but it could be more comprehensive and insightful. The subsequent paragraphs contain some relevant comparisons but lack a clear structure and focus. To improve coherence, use topic sentences to introduce the main point of each paragraph and ensure that all sentences within the paragraph support that point. Stronger transitions between paragraphs will also help to guide the reader through the analysis.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, which limits the depth of the analysis. There is a reliance on simple words and phrases, such as 'spend their money' and 'people tend to.' To enhance lexical resource, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to expenditure, proportions, and trends. Use synonyms and more precise language to describe the data and comparisons. For example, instead of 'people spend their money,' consider using 'expenditure,' 'allocate funds,' or 'invest.' Instead of 'big difference,' try 'significant disparity' or 'marked contrast.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and punctuation mistakes. These errors frequently impede understanding and detract from the overall quality of the writing. To improve grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread the report for errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Pay attention to the correct use of articles (a, an, the) and prepositions. Consider using a grammar checker or seeking feedback from a native English speaker to identify and correct errors.

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Band 5+: The charts below show the proportion of people spending on different commodities and services in a particular European country in 1958 and in 2008.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The charts below show the proportion of people spending on different commodities and services in a particular European country in 1958 and in 2008.

The charts below show the proportion of people spending on different commodities and services in a particular European country in 1958 and in 2008.

The charts below show the proportion of people spending on different commodities and services in a particular European country in 1958 and in 2008.

The charts below show the proportion of people spending on different commodities and services in a particular European country in 1958 and in 2008.

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