Pie Chart

Band 5+: The charts below show the share of the swiss market by brand in 2020 and 2021.

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The image displays two pie charts depicting percentages for various categories, specifically mobile phone, laptop, tablet, desktop computer, flat-screen TV, and conventional TV for the years 2009 and 2019; in 2009, mobile phone is 15%, laptop 20%, tablet 19%, desktop computer 8%, flat-screen TV 18%, conventional TV 34%; in 2019, mobile phone is 27%, laptop 12%, tablet 12%, desktop computer 8%, flat-screen TV 19%, conventional TV 26%.

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The pie charts beneath illustrate information about the change of the share of the Swiss watch market by from 2009 to 2019, over a periode of 10 years.

Overall, it can be seen that conventional TV captured the significant percentage of share in early year, but it was deteriorated noticeably at the end. However, mobile and flat screen TV climbed dramatically during the time.

Turning into specific data, in 2009, though conventional TV served major amount of share in swiss watch market which was 34%, it declined markedly to 4% in 2010.On the other hand, mobile , Tablet and flat screen TV experienced upward trend between 2009 and 2019 and reached 15%-26%, 5%-19%, 8%-27% respectively.

Meanwhile, desktop computer accounted for 18% in the beginning then, it collapes slightly as a result it showed 12% in 2019. In contrast, laptop also represented downward tendency between 2009 and 2019 from 20% to 12%.

Word Count: 151

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

share: 3

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Task Response

The report addresses the task requirements and provides a general overview of the changes in market share between 2009 and 2019. The main trends are identified, and some specific data is included. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., "declined markedly to 4% in 2010" and "5%-19%, 8%-27% respectively"). To improve, ensure that the data cited is accurate and that all significant changes are noted. Also, the introduction mentions "Swiss watch market" while the charts are about electronic devices.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat clear, with an overview followed by specific details. However, the flow of information is disrupted by inaccuracies and inconsistencies in the data presented. Transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother to improve coherence. Paragraphing is adequate but could be more effective in grouping related information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with limited use of more sophisticated language. There are instances of imprecise word choice ('deteriorated noticeably,' 'climbed dramatically'). Expanding the range of vocabulary and using more precise language would enhance the report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. These errors significantly impact the clarity and accuracy of the report. Focus on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance the overall quality of writing.

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