Pie Chart

Band 6+: the charts show the percentage of time working adults spents on different activities in 1958 and in 2008

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The image displays two pie charts on the percentage of time working adults spent on activities in 1958 and 2008. In 1958, the breakdown was: Working 33%, Sleeping 32%, Other interests or playing sports 6%, and Travel to work 2%; data for Going out and Relaxing at home are not provided. In 2008, the time allocation was: Working 42%, Relaxing at home 13%, Other interests or playing sports 8%, Travel to work 8%, Going out (with friends/family) 6%, and Sleeping 23%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart illustrates how working adults allocated their time to various activities between 1958 and 2008.

Overall, working and sleeping accounted for the largest proportions in both years, while the time spent on other activities was relatively similar. However, the proportion of time spent going out showed noticeable differences over the period.

Firstly, while working and sleeping shows almost similar rates in 1958, the percentage of working rose from 33 to 42 and proportion of sleeping decreased from 32 to 25 in 2008. However, the proportion of going out cut showed markable diminish during this period and the rate cut down from 24% to 6%.

Morover, the percentage for relaxing at home, other interests and travel to work have less variety,and these rates increased gradually. While other interests rose by only 2% and reached 8%, travel to work increased from 2% to 8% in 2008.Relaxing at home showed minimal increase of 5%.

Word Count: 152

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

working: 4

sleeping: 3

while: 3

other: 3

proportion: 3

showed: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the charts and provides a reasonable overview of the changes between 1958 and 2008. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions. For example, the report states that the proportion of sleeping decreased to 25% in 2008, while the visual information states 23%. Also, the report mentions that the proportion of going out cut showed markable diminish during this period and the rate cut down from 24% to 6%, but the 24% figure is not provided in the visual information. To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and directly supported by the visual information. Also, pay attention to grammar and vocabulary to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally organized with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. However, the flow between sentences and ideas could be improved. Transitions between paragraphs are present but could be smoother. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to enhance the connection between ideas. For example, in the third paragraph, the connection between the first and second sentences could be clearer.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Some phrases are a bit repetitive (e.g., 'percentage of working,' 'proportion of sleeping'). Try to use synonyms or rephrase to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of 'the percentage of working rose,' you could say 'the time allocated to work increased.' Also, consider using more specific vocabulary related to time allocation and trends.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are noticeable grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common errors include incorrect verb tense ('shows' instead of 'showed'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing ('cut showed markable diminish'). Pay close attention to proofreading for these types of errors. Also, focus on using a wider range of grammatical structures accurately to enhance the overall quality of your writing.

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