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Band 6+: The diagram below show the transformation of the area around Tumbledown between 1995 and 2010

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Image for topic: The diagram below show the transformation of the area around Tumbledown between 1995 and 2010

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The image illustrates Tumbledown transformations from 1995 to 2010 with two diagrams: 1995 had Tumbledown centrally surrounded by farmhouse southwest, farmland south, park northwest, school north, hospital northeast, woodland east; 2010 shows Tumbledown replaced centrally, changes include science park and museum north over previous park, hotel and spa northeast in place of hospital, shops adjacent to Tumbledown, science academy southeast replacing farmhouse, science laboratories south covering old farmland, hi-tech centre placed east with remaining woodland.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagaram presents the transformation from 1995 to 2010 of the area around Tumbledown.

Overall, Tumbledown has transformed in to a whole other City and had an Urban development troughout the given period. The City in 2010 is not the same anymore and has changed in comparision with 1995.

The City was residential in 1995 with a farmland and a farmhouse, a school, a park and a hospital. Although that changed and transformed into a modern area with science laboratories, science academy, hotel and spa and a hi-tech centre. It doesn´t even have a school anymore in 2010. You can see that the farmland and farmhouse have been replaced for the science laboratories and the science academy, the usual park for now a science park together with the museum. The school for hotel and spa and the hospital for a hi-tech centre. In 1995, there was also a large area of wood but had decreased by 2010, very little remained.

Word Count: 160

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

science: 5

school: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by describing the transformations of Tumbledown between 1995 and 2010. The overview is acceptable, and the main changes are identified. To improve, provide more specific details and avoid generalizations. For example, instead of saying 'Tumbledown has transformed into a whole other City,' quantify the changes with specific examples from the diagrams. Also, ensure accurate reporting of the changes; for instance, the school was replaced by a science park and museum, not a hotel and spa, which replaced the hospital. Finally, enhance the organization by grouping similar changes together and using more precise language to describe locations and transformations.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report provides a general overview of the changes, but the organization could be improved. Consider grouping similar changes together and using more specific language to describe the locations and relationships between the different areas. The introduction and overview are somewhat repetitive. Try to combine them or make them more concise. The use of 'You can see that...' is informal and should be avoided in academic writing.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but could be more precise. Using more specific terms related to urban development and land use would enhance the description. For example, instead of 'transformed into a whole other City,' you could say 'underwent significant urban redevelopment.' There are some instances of informal language ('troughout') that should be replaced with more formal alternatives ('throughout').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'The diagaram presents' should be 'The diagram presents,' and 'in comparision with' should be 'in comparison with.' There are also issues with article usage (e.g., 'a farmland' should be 'farmland'). Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and correct preposition usage. Reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully will help improve accuracy.

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