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Band 6+: The diagram below shows the changes, which took place in a coastal area called Pentland from 1950 to 2007. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the diagrams below.

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows the changes, which took place in a coastal area called Pentland from 1950 to 2007. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the diagrams below.

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The image shows two maps of Portland in 1950 and 2007. In 1950, key features include a road running through the town, a car park on the eastern side, a large industrial area in the northwest, two grassland areas labeled as "grassland" in the southwest, and several residential houses along the road. By 2007, changes are evident: the industrial area has been replaced with a park and playground, there is a multi-storey car park, a new road leading to a yacht marina in the northeast, a new area designated as "apartments" east of the sea, the previous grasslands are converted to a multi-use area, presence of cinema and shops south and southeast, while the car park is retained.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The maps illustrate how a coastal area, namely Pentland, developed from 1950 to 2007. Overall, Pentland urbanized to be a residential area, with the addition of communal amenities. It is also worth noting that the coastal town developed more roads with the reduction of grassland and industrial area.

In the northwest of Pentland, the area for industrialization, which used to be situated in 1950, was demolished to make room for public convenience including a park, swimming pool and multi storey car park. In addition to this, the grassland was completely cleared for the development of a recreational area, which consisted of shopping malls and a cinema that was located on both sides of the road in 2007.

In the northeast of the town, the area, which the car park used to be located in, was converted into apartments in 2007. Meanwhile, this year witnessed the area for grassland was cleared to make room for the intersection road that separated the northeast area into two sides. In particular, the shopping area was constructed on the upper side, while the other side was the establishment of blocks of houses.

In terms of the sea, the shoreline witnessed a significant transformation after 57 years, which added a marina for commercial trade of numerous ships. Additionally, the marina was surrounded by a semi-circular road in 1970, which was widened compared to that of 1950.

Word Count: 230

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

which: 5

pentland: 3

grassland: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main changes and provides a clear overview of the transformation from an industrial/grassland area to a more urbanized residential and recreational zone. The response effectively identifies key developments such as the replacement of industry with a park and the addition of amenities like the cinema and marina. However, there are some inaccuracies in the description of spatial relationships and data (for example, mentioning a road from 1970 which was not in the prompt, and some confusion regarding the location of the car park and apartments). To improve, ensure that the description of locations (north, south, east, west) strictly aligns with the visual evidence and maintain consistency in the timeline provided.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure, moving from an overview to specific regional descriptions. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and imprecise transitions. For example, the connection between the development of the road and the specific areas it serves could be smoother. To improve, focus on using more cohesive devices that link the changes (e.g., 'consequently', 'subsequently', or 'in place of') to show the relationship between the old and new features more clearly.

Lexical Resource

You have attempted to use a variety of vocabulary to describe changes (e.g., 'demolished', 'converted', 'witnessed a significant transformation'). However, there are instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'public convenience' (which usually refers to toilets) instead of 'public amenities', and 'industrialization' instead of 'industrial area'. Additionally, some phrasing is slightly unnatural. Aim to use more precise collocations related to urban development, such as 'residential expansion' or 'infrastructure development'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with relative clauses (e.g., 'the area, which the car park used to be located in') and sentence construction (e.g., 'this year witnessed the area for grassland was cleared'). There are also errors in tense and preposition usage. To improve, practice the use of passive voice for describing changes (e.g., 'the grassland was replaced by...') and ensure that relative clauses are grammatically sound.

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