Process Diagram

Band 8+: The diagram below shows the process of producing smoked fish. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows the process of producing smoked fish. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image illustrates the smoked fish making process with sequential steps: Catch, Transport, Port, Freeze, Thaw in fresh water, Cut open, Salt water plus yellow coloring, Smoke, Freeze at 0°C, Cold store, Distribution, Fish store.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The provided diagram delineates the multi-stage process of making smoked fish.

Overall, this linear process comprises seven main stages, commencing with the gathering and preliminary processing of sea fish and culminating with the production and distribution of smoked fish to retail stores. Notably, fish are frozen twice in order to keep their quality.

The process begins with the collection of sea fish and transportation by boat to sea port. Subsequently, collected fish is immediately frozen in a specialized facility so as to maintain their freshness. They are then thawed with fresh water before they are cut open to take out internal organs. After that, processed fish are put into salt water as well as colored in yellow.

In the next step, they are taken to a chamber for smoking. After this step, smoked fish are placed neatly in a box before being stored in a freezing facility at a temperature of 0 degree Celsius. These final products are then distributed by lorries to fish retail stores, selling to customers.

Word Count: 169

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

process: 3

smoked: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report provides a comprehensive and clear overview of the entire process. It correctly identifies the main stages and includes a relevant overview that highlights a key feature (the two freezing stages). The description of the sequence is logical, uses appropriate transitional devices, and accurately reflects the information provided in the visual description. The response fully satisfies the requirements of the task.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is logically organized and follows a clear chronological sequence, making it easy for the reader to follow the process. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Subsequently', 'After that', and 'In the next step' is effective. To reach a higher band, try to vary the sentence structures to integrate cohesive devices more naturally, rather than relying on a standard sequence of transitional adverbs at the start of sentences.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with good use of process-related verbs like 'delineates', 'culminating', 'thawed', and 'distributed'. The terminology is generally accurate. To improve, you could incorporate more sophisticated synonyms for common actions (e.g., instead of 'take out internal organs', you might use 'evisceration') to demonstrate a higher level of lexical precision.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good range of structures, including passive voice, which is essential for process descriptions. However, there are minor grammatical inconsistencies, such as subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'collected fish is' vs 'fish are') and some awkward phrasing in the final sentence. Ensure that pluralization is consistent throughout the report to maintain high accuracy.

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