Process Diagram

Band 5+: The diagram below shows the process of producing smoked fish. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows the process of producing smoked fish. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image illustrates the smoked fish making process with sequential steps: Catch, Transport, Port, Freeze, Thaw in fresh water, Cut open, Salt water plus yellow coloring, Smoke, Freeze at 0°C, Cold store, Distribution, Fish store.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The diagram illustrates information about the process of producing smoked fish .

Overall , it is clear that there are many steps and ingredients that need to experience . However , the process of producing smoked fish is quite complicated to operate properly.

First of all , fish will be caught by fisherman on the board , and then it will be packaged clearly for transporting . After that , the board will carry it to port for freezing , which is going to freeze fish and thaw it in fresh water . Next , fish will be cut-opened into many piece by people or machine , therefore , put into a state with salt water and yellow coloring .

Once salt water and yellow coloring stage is completed , fish will be smoked for a moment until it has enough condition . As a result , this is going to be put into a box and then freezing in a fridge with accurate degree . Therefore , it will be transported to cold store to keep it cool . Finally , these products will be distributed to truck and then transporting to fish store .

Word Count: 196

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

smoked: 3

water: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report provides a general overview of the smoked fish production process, but it includes some inaccuracies and lacks specific details. The description of the steps is somewhat vague and could benefit from more precise language. To improve, focus on providing more specific details about each stage of the process and ensure accuracy in describing the steps and conditions involved.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents the information in a sequential manner, following the process steps. However, the overall flow could be improved with better use of cohesive devices and more logical paragraphing. The introduction and overview are weak and don't effectively summarise the entire process. Consider grouping related steps into more coherent paragraphs and using a wider range of linking words to improve the connection between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively simple and lacks the precision needed to describe the process effectively. There is some repetition of words and phrases. Try to use more specific vocabulary related to food processing and manufacturing. For example, instead of 'put into a box,' you could use 'packaged' or 'placed in containers.' Expanding your vocabulary range will enhance the clarity and sophistication of your report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. Sentence structures are also quite simple, limiting the complexity of the information conveyed. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and practice using a wider range of sentence structures, including complex sentences, to express your ideas more clearly and accurately. Pay close attention to verb tense consistency and correct article usage.

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