Process Diagram

Band 5+: The diagram below shows the process of producing smoked fish. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows the process of producing smoked fish. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image illustrates the smoked fish making process with sequential steps: Catch, Transport, Port, Freeze, Thaw in fresh water, Cut open, Salt water plus yellow coloring, Smoke, Freeze at 0°C, Cold store, Distribution, Fish store.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The diagram illustrates how smoked fish is manufactured.

Overall, there are thirteen stages in the process, beginning with catching fish on the beach and ending with taking the fish to the fish shop. Additionally, it is also noticeable that the fishes are soaked in salt water and yellow coloring before fishes are smoked.

Initially, smoked fish is collected in the sea. It is then transported by boat and it is brought to the port. Next, the smoked fish passes through a freeze and the fishes need to thaw and soak the fish in fresh water. After being processed, smoked fish is cut open before salt fish.

Following this, smoked fish is salted water and yellow coloring to preserve freshness and smoking fish on the grill. The next step, fishes involve transferring and placing it into the box. The resulting mixture is subsequently transferred to freeze 0°C , where fish is taken from the cold store. Finally, smoked fish is distributed to fish store and selling

Word Count: 165

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

smoked: 6

fishes: 4

water: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report provides a general overview of the process and covers most stages, but there are some inaccuracies and unclear descriptions (e.g., 'collected in the sea' instead of 'caught', 'salt fish' and 'salted water' are imprecise). The overall structure is logical, and the overview is present. To improve, ensure accurate terminology and clearer sequencing of steps, and avoid minor omissions or confusing phrasing.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure with clear stages, but there are some lapses in cohesion and coherence. The use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or repetitive (e.g., 'fishes' used inconsistently, and some sentences are unclear). Paragraphing is present but could be more skillfully managed. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a clear group of stages and use a wider range of linking words and referencing to make the flow smoother.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there are some inaccuracies and limited range. For example, 'salt fish' and 'salt water and yellow coloring' are not used precisely. There is also repetition of 'smoked fish' and 'fishes'. To improve, use more precise and varied vocabulary, such as 'the fish are immersed in a brine solution with yellow coloring' and 'the fish are then smoked'. Also, avoid overusing the same terms. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. For example, 'the fishes need to thaw and soak the fish in fresh water' is confusing, and 'salt fish' is incomplete. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. To improve, focus on writing clear, grammatically correct sentences, and proofread to eliminate errors. Use a wider range of sentence structures, including passive voice and complex sentences, to enhance accuracy and flexibility.

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