Process Diagram

Band 4+: The diagram below shows the process of producing smoked fish. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows the process of producing smoked fish. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image illustrates the smoked fish making process with sequential steps: Catch, Transport, Port, Freeze, Thaw in fresh water, Cut open, Salt water plus yellow coloring, Smoke, Freeze at 0°C, Cold store, Distribution, Fish store.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The diagram illustartes the stages involved in the production of smoked fish,tracing the process from catching to the fish store.

Overall,the procedure follows a linear,multi-stage sequence that begins with fish that was caught and transported to the port and ends with selling in fish market.During these stages,the fish are freezed,thrawed in fresh water,cut open,soaked in salt water with yellow coloring,packed and freezed again.

in initial stages, the fish are preparing before be delivered and selled.First of all,fish are netted and transferred into port where they put fish in fridge.In advance of fish will be cut open, it must are thrawed in fresh water and after this final stage of preparing is smoke.

The remaining stages deal with sorting all fish in boxes.Succeeding steps are freeze boxes with fish at 0 degrees and keeping in cold store where it will be distributed in fish stores.

Word Count: 144

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

stages: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main stages of the process, but there are significant issues with clarity and accuracy in describing the sequence. Some descriptions are confusing, such as the claim that 'thawing' is the final stage of preparation before smoking, and the mention of 'sorting all fish in boxes' which is not explicitly detailed in the visual information. To improve, focus on using more precise sequencing language and ensure that the relationship between the steps (e.g., the purpose of the salt water and coloring) is clearly communicated. Additionally, work on grammatical accuracy, particularly with verb forms (e.g., 'are preparing', 'be delivered and selled', 'must are thrawed') to ensure the flow of information is professional and easy to follow. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas is often interrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Cohesive devices (e.g., 'In advance of', 'Succeeding steps') are used, but they are often used incorrectly, which hinders the flow. To improve, focus on using standard transitional phrases like 'Following this,' 'Subsequently,' or 'Once this stage is complete' to ensure the reader can follow the sequence effortlessly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is limited and contains several spelling and word-form errors (e.g., 'illustartes', 'freezed', 'thrawed', 'selled'). There is also some repetitive use of basic terms. To reach a higher band, aim to use more precise verbs and nouns related to processes, such as 'harvested' instead of 'caught', 'subsequently' instead of 'after this', and ensure that irregular verbs (like 'frozen' and 'thawed') are used correctly. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and significantly impact the clarity of the report. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'it must are'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'fish are preparing', 'selled'), and sentence structure (e.g., 'In advance of fish will be cut open'). To improve, practice using the passive voice, which is essential for describing processes (e.g., 'the fish are caught' instead of 'fish are netted'), and focus on mastering irregular past participles.

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