Process Diagram

Band 7+: The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

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The image presents a sequential diagram illustrating the aluminium can recycling process, comprising of nine main steps, beginning with waste accumulation and deposit management, followed by water treatment, crushing application, material processing, chemical removal, progressing to heating phase, then moulding, subsequent weighing stage, rolling procedure, culminating in the production of new cans, completed over a six-week cycle.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram demonstrates the process of manufacturing aluminium cans from recycling.

Overall, there are eleven steps in the process, starting with waste items, and ending with the newly cans for consumption. The whole process takes approximately six weeks to complete.

Initially, waste items are collected by trucks and transported to a deposit centre. Once gathered, the cans are washed in water to remove dirt. Following this, these are conveyed into crushing machine where they are crushed into small pieces and processed. Subsequently, the amount of crushed pieces undergoes a chemical treatment.

In the final stages, the cleaned aluminium is put in a kiln to convert to liquid. Afterwards, the liquid is poured into a mould to shape it. During the following phase, these undergo a weighting stage before being rolled by rolling equipment. Finally, new cans are created, ready to reused in different places.

Word Count: 144

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

process: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report provides a comprehensive and clear overview of the recycling process. It accurately identifies the starting and ending points, the total duration, and follows the sequence of steps logically. The use of cohesive devices and transitional phrases effectively guides the reader through the stages. The summary of main features is well-executed, and the response fully satisfies the requirements of the task. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is well-organized and follows a logical progression that mirrors the sequential nature of the diagram. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Initially', 'Following this', 'Subsequently', and 'In the final stages' helps the reader navigate the process easily. To reach a higher band, ensure that the transition between the chemical treatment and the heating phase is even more seamless, perhaps by linking the result of one step directly to the start of the next.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate for a process description, with terms like 'conveyed', 'undergoes', and 'culminating' (implied) showing good range. However, there are some minor errors in word choice and form, such as 'newly cans' instead of 'new cans' and 'ready to reused' instead of 'ready to be reused'. Aim for more precision in describing the transformation of materials to demonstrate a more sophisticated control of lexical features.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures, particularly through the use of passive voice, which is essential for process descriptions. However, there are several grammatical inaccuracies that prevent a higher score, such as missing articles ('into crushing machine' should be 'into a crushing machine') and errors in verb forms ('ready to reused'). Paying closer attention to article usage and passive voice constructions will significantly improve the accuracy.

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