Process Diagram

Band 8+: The diagrams show how the bee makes honey and the stages in the production of honey. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The diagrams show how the bee makes honey and the stages in the production of honey. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image illustrates the process of small-scale commercial honey production divided into bee phase and human phase: bees gather nectar, deposit honey, dry honey by fanning wings, then keep cells clean and seal cells with wax; humans gather honeycombs, press combs to extract honey, transfer honey into sump tank, heat honey to 45-50°C, sieve tank removes dirt, transfer honey into settling tank for 2-4 days, and finally, the honey is placed into jars for selling.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram shows two major stages of small-scale commercial honey production. Firstly, there is the bee phase, which starts with gathering nectar and bringing it to the beehive for further drying with insect wings. This helps in keeping the cells clean. Upon cracking the cells with wax, the bee phase ends and the following process depends on human contribution.

After having collected and pressed the combs with special equipment, the honey is poured into a sump tank and then heated up to 50 degrees Celsius. The next necessary step is to pass the honey through a sieve tank, which is responsible for removing dirt and other natural debris. And finally, the last production phase stalls this process by letting the honey settle in a special tank, lasting from 2 to 4 days.

The packaging completes the commercial cycle when the honey is distributed in jars and then delivered to selling outlets.

Word Count: 151

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Overall Band Score

8.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

honey: 5

phase: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report provides a clear and logical overview of the entire process, effectively dividing the information into the biological and human stages. The main features are well-reported, and the sequence of events is easy to follow. To improve, ensure that all specific data points from the visual description (such as the temperature range of 45-50°C) are captured precisely, and avoid using slightly imprecise vocabulary like 'stalls this process' when describing the settling stage, as 'stalling' can imply an interruption rather than a planned part of the procedure.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is logically organized, moving clearly from the biological phase to the human production phase. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Upon...', 'After having...', and 'And finally' helps the reader follow the sequence of events. To reach a higher band, avoid starting a sentence with 'And' in formal academic writing, and ensure that the transitions between the bee phase and the human phase feel even more seamless.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with good use of terms like 'natural debris', 'commercial cycle', and 'distributed'. The phrasing is generally natural. To improve, you could incorporate more sophisticated verbs to describe the transformations in the process (e.g., instead of 'poured', using 'transferred' or 'channeled') to demonstrate a wider range of lexical control.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a high level of grammatical accuracy. There is a good mix of complex sentence structures, including participle clauses ('After having collected...') and relative clauses ('...which is responsible for...'). The punctuation is used correctly throughout, and the control over tense is consistent.

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Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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