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Band 6+: The given pie charts compare the expenses in 7 different categories in 1966 and by 1996 American citizens

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The image shows two pie charts comparing expenses across seven categories by American citizens in 1966 and 1996. In 1966: Food 44%, Cars 23%, Petrol 9%, Restaurants 7%, Furniture 10%, Computers 1%, Books 6%. In 1996: Food 14%, Cars 45%, Petrol 8%, Restaurants 14%, Furniture 8%, Computers 10%, Books 1%.

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The pie charts illustrate the spendings in 7 types of attractions between 1966 to 1996 in America.

Overall,in 1966 most people were spending their income for food, while in 1996 this percentage became lower and citizens spent their money on cars.

In 1966, expenses for food was 44% but in 1996 was reduced to 14%. Many residents used their profits on cars (45%) in 1996, but in 1966 its percentage was just 23%. In addition,if compared, sales on books were less for 5% in 1996, than in 1966.

Secondly, in 1996 people became computers more to 9% than in 1966. The percentage in 1996 for petrol changed to 1% smaller than in 1966. However, residents would eat out often and their percentage increased from 7% to 14% in 1996. Citizens became bay furniture less for 2% in 1996 than 1966.

Word Count: 140

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A1 - Beginner
Aim to use more advanced language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 4

percentage: 4

became: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately covers the requirements of the task, providing a general overview and highlighting key changes between the two time periods. However, there are some areas for improvement. The report could benefit from more precise language and a clearer structure. For instance, the introduction could be more concise, and the body paragraphs could be organized more logically, perhaps grouping categories with similar trends together. Also, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice to enhance clarity. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The introduction and overview are present, but the body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions. The organization of information within paragraphs could be more logical. For instance, grouping categories with similar trends together would enhance coherence. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of imprecise word choice ('attractions' instead of 'categories of expenses,' 'profits' instead of 'money,' 'bay furniture'). Expanding your vocabulary related to economic trends and comparisons would improve the report. Focus on using synonyms and paraphrasing to avoid repetition. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Examples include incorrect verb tense ('expenses for food was'), subject-verb agreement issues ('people became computers more'), and awkward phrasing ('Citizens became bay furniture less'). Pay closer attention to sentence structure, verb tenses, and article usage. Proofreading carefully for errors would significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.

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