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Band 4+: The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

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Image for topic: The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

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The image contains a line graph comparing visits to 'Music Choice' and 'Pop Parade' over 15 days; day 1, 'Music Choice' had 40 visits and 'Pop Parade' had 120 visits; day 2, 'Music Choice' rose to 100 visits, 'Pop Parade' dropped to 80 visits; day 3, 'Music Choice' dropped to 20 visits, 'Pop Parade' rose to 140 visits; day 4, 'Music Choice' rose to 120 visits, 'Pop Parade' dropped to 100 visits; day 5, 'Music Choice' dropped to 60 visits, 'Pop Parade' rose to 160 visits; day 6, 'Music Choice' rose to 140 visits, 'Pop Parade' dropped to 120 visits; day 7, 'Music Choice' dropped to 20 visits, 'Pop Parade' rose to 180 visits; day 8, 'Music Choice' rose to 100 visits, 'Pop Parade' dropped to 20 visits; day 9, 'Music Choice' dropped to 60 visits, 'Pop Parade' rose to 160 visits; day 10, 'Music Choice' rose to 160 visits, 'Pop Parade' dropped to 60 visits; day 11, 'Music Choice' dropped to 20 visits, 'Pop Parade' rose to 180 visits; day 12, 'Music Choice' rose to 100 visits, 'Pop Parade' dropped to 60 visits; day 13, 'Music Choice' dropped to 60 visits, 'Pop Parade' rose to 140 visits; day 14, 'Music Choice' rose to 140 visits, 'Pop Parade' dropped to 100 visits; day 15, 'Music Choice' dropped to 40 visits, 'Pop Parade' rose to 160 visits; y-axis scale is in increments of 20 from 0 to 180, labeled '000s'; x-axis labeled 'Days' from 1 to 15; 'Music Choice' represented by dashed line, 'Pop Parade' represented by dotted line.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The graph features information about visitors to two new music sites on the web for the past 15 days.

In general, graph had ups and downs. For instance, at the first day website number 1 had almost 120 visitors, meanwhile the second site only 40. But next days everything changed, first website was dramatically losing his visitors till seventh day where they had only 40, I believe they made an update and afterwards they had only inscreasing statistics so at the end they reached exceptional goal, 160 visitors, simultaneously the second site had had troubles only at 3 and 14 days where they lost approximately 40 visitors.

Overall, from my perspective , both sites tried to make their site attractive to visitors because both increased number of visitors through updates and new content.

Word Count: 133

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

visitors: 6

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task but includes some inaccurate information and generalizations. The description of the data lacks precision and specific details. The analysis is superficial and doesn't effectively highlight key trends or comparisons. To improve, focus on providing more accurate data points, specific comparisons, and a more structured analysis of the trends. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview but lacks a clear structure and logical flow. The paragraphing is not well-managed, and the transitions between ideas are abrupt. To improve coherence, consider organizing the report into distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the graph (e.g., overall trends, specific comparisons, notable fluctuations). Using cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, synonyms) can also help to link ideas and create a smoother reading experience.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and lacks precision. While the report conveys the general meaning, it could benefit from a wider range of vocabulary to describe the trends and fluctuations in the graph more accurately. For example, instead of 'ups and downs,' consider using terms like 'fluctuations,' 'variations,' or 'oscillations.' Instead of 'losing his visitors,' try 'experiencing a decline in visitors.' Expanding your vocabulary and using more precise language will enhance the clarity and sophistication of your writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity and accuracy. There are issues with verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and pronoun usage. For example, 'graph had ups and downs' should be 'the graph showed ups and downs.' 'First website was dramatically losing his visitors' should be 'the first website was dramatically losing visitors.' To improve grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread your work and pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, pronoun usage, and article usage. Reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction can also be helpful.

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Band 4+: The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

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