Line Graph

Band 7+: The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows a line graph of birth and death rates in New Zealand from 1901 to 2101, with birth rates starting at around 30, peaking at 70 in 1961, and declining to around 40, while death rates start at around 10, peaking at 20 in 2011, and declining to around 10.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line chart illustrates the fluctuations and the long-term trends in the birth and death rates in New Zealand from 1901 to 2101.

Overall, New Zealand witnessed a significant increase in the level of childbirth and mortality and will experience this upward trend in the future. Additionally, the death rates are expected to outnumber the birth rates in the last sixty years of the period.

To specify, in 1901, there were around 20000 births reported, which was roughly twice the number of deaths, at about 10000 cases. After showing a tremendous rise and reaching the highest point at nearly 65000 cases in 1961, the number of childbirths fluctuated considerably in the next 40 years. Meanwhile, there was a remarkable growth in the mortality rate from 1941 to 2001 after a slight fluctuation in the first 20 years of the period.

On the other hand, the birth rates are predicted to equal that of dead people in 2041. Over time, the mortality rates will rocket and reach a peak at 60000 cases in 2061 whereas the birth rates will gradually decrease to around 42000 cases in 2101.

Word Count: 186

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

rates: 6

birth: 4

cases: 4

mortality: 3

years: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends in birth and death rates in New Zealand, but there are some inaccuracies in the data reported. For example, the report mentions 20000 births in 1901, which is not directly supported by the graph. Also, the report mentions that death rates are expected to outnumber birth rates, but the graph shows them converging. To improve, ensure that all data cited is accurate and directly derived from the graph. Also, focus on the most significant trends and avoid getting bogged down in minor fluctuations.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a generally clear overview of the trends in birth and death rates. However, the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For instance, transition words could be used to signal shifts in time or comparisons between the birth and death rates more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary suitable for describing trends and changes. However, there's room to enhance the sophistication of word choices. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'increase' or 'decrease,' try incorporating synonyms like 'escalate,' 'decline,' or 'plummet' to add nuance and precision to the descriptions. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a strong command of grammar with very few errors. The sentence structures are varied and generally well-controlled. To further enhance the grammatical range, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures, such as using a wider array of subordinate clauses or participial phrases, to add depth and sophistication to the writing.

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