Line Graph

Band 7+: The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows a line graph of birth and death rates in New Zealand from 1901 to 2101, with birth rates starting at around 30, peaking at 70 in 1961, and declining to around 40, while death rates start at around 10, peaking at 20 in 2011, and declining to around 10.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph illustrates how the figures for births and deaths in New Zealand changed from 1901 to 2011.

Overall, the births rate was consistently higher than the death level thoughout the beginning of the period, although both figures are expected to converge by the end of the century. Both trends are projected to decline gradually in the future.

The birth level in New Zealand experienced significant fluctuations during the first half of 20th century. It rose sharply from around 25 births per 1000 people in 1901 to nearly 66 in 1960s. After reaching this point, the figure undergone a steadly decline over the following decades. By 2001, the figure had fallen to just above 50, and forecasts suggest that it will continue its downward trajectory, reaching approximately 45 by 2101.

In contrast, the death rate showed much more stability. Starting at about 20 per 1000 people in 1901. It fluctuated only slightly during the 20th century, generally remaining with the range of 10 to 15. Unlike the birth rate, however; it is predicted to rise gradually in the future. By 2101, the death rate is expected to increase to nearly 30.

Word Count: 191

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

births: 3

death: 3

century: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends in the graph, providing a good overview of the changes in birth and death rates in New Zealand. The description of the fluctuations and trends is generally accurate. To improve, pay closer attention to the specific data values and time periods mentioned in the graph to ensure complete accuracy. Also, ensure that all key features are addressed, including the convergence of the birth and death rates towards the end of the period.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and overall statement. The information is presented in a logical sequence, making it easy to follow the trends in birth and death rates. However, cohesion could be improved by using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more smoothly, particularly within paragraphs. For example, transitions between sentences could be more varied to avoid repetition and enhance the flow of information.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary suitable for describing trends and making comparisons. Terms like 'fluctuations,' 'downward trajectory,' and 'converge' are used appropriately. However, there is room for improvement in using more precise and sophisticated vocabulary to describe the data. For instance, instead of 'rose sharply,' consider using 'increased dramatically' or 'surged.' Also, ensure that vocabulary is used accurately and naturally throughout the report. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. There are a few errors, such as 'thoughout' and 'steadly,' which need to be corrected. Additionally, pay attention to punctuation, such as the semicolon used incorrectly in the last paragraph. Proofreading carefully for these minor errors will enhance the overall quality of the report. Focus on maintaining accuracy while using a range of complex sentences to describe the trends.

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