Line Graph

Band 5+: The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

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Image for topic: The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

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The image displays job numbers in millions from 1960 to 2020 for four sectors: Manufacturing starts at 14m in 1960, peaks at 20m in 1980, gradually declining to 15m in 2000 and then sharply to 5m in 2020; Agriculture starts at 5m, drops to 4m in 1980, further declines to 3m in 2000, reaching just below 2m in 2020; Retail begins at 10m, remains stable until around 2000 before increasing to 15m by 2020; Healthcare starts at around 2m, rises to 5m in 1980, climbs to 10m in 2000, and then peaks around 20m in 2020.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line chart demonstrates the number of job opportunities in four different aspects of the economy, manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare, from 1960 to 2020 in the US.

Overall, retail and healthcare are two sectors following an upward trend, which topped the chart at a similar figure. Meanwhile, producing industry and agriculture fell slightly over a period of 60 years.

In 1960, manufacturing hit the top of the line chart thanks to 15 million jobs, become the most common sector in the US. Meanwhile, healthcare systems were not preferred at the same time, it just had under 5 million jobs. Although retail rose steadily to 10 million while traditional industry decreased by roughly 3 million in the year 1980. At this time, the two remaining sectors witnessed a gradual increase of job opportunities, which were 20 million jobs in manufacturing and 5 million jobs in healthcare.

In the year 2000, the number of jobs in production went down by nearly 3 million, but this aspect still remained to be the highest figure over a 40-year period. After 20 years, agriculture become the sector which had the least jobs in four ones, about 2 million jobs. At the end of the period, there was a significant rise of the number of jobs in retail and healthcare, which topped the chart together at over 15 million.

Word Count: 224

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

million: 9

chart: 4

retail: 4

healthcare: 4

which: 4

number: 3

manufacturing: 3

agriculture: 3

period: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main trends and provides a description of the data for all four sectors. However, there are several inaccuracies in data reporting and logical inconsistencies that affect the clarity of the task achievement. For example, the report states that manufacturing was the highest in 2000, but then suggests retail and healthcare topped the chart at 15 million in 2020, which contradicts the visual description stating healthcare reached 20 million. Additionally, some phrasing is slightly confusing (e.g., 'healthcare systems were not preferred'). To improve, ensure that comparisons between sectors are mathematically consistent with the trends described and focus on grouping data more logically to highlight key intersections and shifts.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes interrupted by faulty sentence structures. For example, the use of 'Although' in the second paragraph creates a fragment rather than a complete sentence, which disrupts the flow. Additionally, some cohesive devices are used awkwardly, making the relationship between ideas less clear. To improve, focus on using subordinating conjunctions correctly to link clauses and ensure that each sentence is a complete thought.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task and includes some attempts at variety (e.g., 'witnessed a gradual increase', 'significant rise'). However, there are several instances of imprecise word choices. For example, 'aspects of the economy' is less natural than 'sectors', and 'producing industry' or 'traditional industry' are used inconsistently to refer to manufacturing. 'The two remaining sectors' is also confusing because the writer had already mentioned four sectors. Aim for more precise terminology and ensure that synonyms are used accurately within the context of economic data.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'agriculture become'), tense consistency, and sentence fragments (e.g., the sentence starting with 'Although'). There are also comma splices where two independent clauses are joined only by a comma. To improve, practice using complex sentence structures like relative clauses and subordinate clauses more accurately, and pay close attention to punctuation to avoid run-on sentences.

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Band 5+: The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

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