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Band 5+: the graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four asian contries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with predictions for 2030 and 2040

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The image shows the percentage of the population living in cities from 1970 to 2040 for four Asian countries. Philippines: 1970-30%, 1980-38%, 1990-48%, 2000-55%, 2010-60%, 2020-66%, 2030-70%, 2040-76%. Malaysia: 1970-28%, 1980-38%, 1990-50%, 2000-62%, 2010-70%, 2020-75%, 2030-80%, 2040-85%. Thailand: 1970-18%, 1980-26%, 1990-32%, 2000-40%, 2010-42%, 2020-49%, 2030-55%, 2040-60%. Indonesia: 1970-17%, 1980-22%, 1990-30%, 2000-42%, 2010-50%, 2020-56%, 2030-63%, 2040-70%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph illustrates information about percentage of the population living in cities in Phillippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia from 1970 to 2020 extended with future predictions for the next 20 years.

Genarally, Malaysia showed the most growth in the population living in cities and other countries had a gradual growth too.

Phillippines population was exceeding Malaysia by around 2% in the year 1990. After that, it again showed a downward trend till 2010 hitting lower than Indonesia. For the next 10 years and with 20 years of predictions, it showed a upward trend hitting as high as about 55% in the year 2040.

Malaysia on the other hand, showed a overall upward trend even in the year predicted years hitting the peak about 83% of those four countries.

Indonesia had a slow and gradual growth over the decades overtaking Thailand in the year 2000 hitting about 30%. Subsequently, it crossed Phillippines showing a rapid growth in the next decade hitting almost 45% percent. The prediction explains in the next years, it continued with the growth as much as about 60%.

Word Count: 181

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

about: 5

growth: 5

hitting: 5

showed: 4

years: 4

population: 3

malaysia: 3

trend: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task but contains some inaccuracies and omissions. The description of the Philippines is not entirely accurate, and the report lacks a comprehensive overview of Thailand's data. To improve, ensure all key features are accurately represented and consider including comparative statements to highlight the relationships between the countries more effectively.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. The connections between sentences and paragraphs could be strengthened to improve the flow. For instance, the shift between discussing the Philippines and Malaysia feels abrupt. Consider using transition words and phrases to guide the reader and create a smoother narrative. Paragraphing could also be improved by grouping related information together more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary, but there are instances where the word choice could be more precise. For example, using 'showed the most growth' is acceptable, but more specific vocabulary related to urban population trends could elevate the writing. Also, avoid using conversational language such as 'hitting as high as'. Focus on using more formal and academic language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'Phillippines population was exceeding Malaysia by around 2% in the year 1990' has tense issues and awkward phrasing. Similarly, 'Malaysia on the other hand, showed a overall upward trend even in the year predicted years hitting the peak about 83% of those four countries' contains multiple errors. Focus on subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and clear sentence structure. Proofreading carefully is essential.

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