Bar Chart

Band 6+: the graph below gives the result of a survey showing what 1.000 young people did after leaving school between 2008 and 2012 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparasions where relevant

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Image for topic: the graph below gives the result of a survey showing what 1.000 young people did after leaving school between 2008 and 2012 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparasions where relevant

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The image presents a bar graph detailing the post-school activities of 1,000 young individuals from 2008 to 2012, segmented into three main categories: "Went to university," "Looked for work," and "Took a temporary break from education." In 2008, the respective values were approximately: university - 440, work - 350, break - 210. In 2009: university - 350, work - 450, break - 200. In 2010: university - 400, work - 350, break - 250. In 2011: university - 360, work - 410, break - 230. In 2012: university - 380, work - 370, break - 250.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The graph illustartes the results of a servey, showing the occupation of 1000 young people after leaving school from 2008 to 2012. Overall, the number of citizens looking for a job has declined over the years, while the number of people having breack from education rose. Only a figure for people enrolling in universities remained relatively unchanged.

In terms of the most pronounced changes, in 2008 a major part of school graduates decided to look for a job just after school, while in the next 5 years their number notably declined by 200 people in 2011. Finally, reaching the number of around 350 individuals in 2012.

Notably, taking a temporary breack from school being the least popular option in 2008 dramatialy rose over the next few years, surpassing students who decided to go to university in 2012.

At the same time, the number of people going to university after school remained unchnged over the period. It rose by almost 100 people in 2010 but declined the same number to 2012, totally diminish previous increase.

Word Count: 174

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 6

number: 6

school: 5

after: 3

declined: 3

years: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main requirements of the task and identifies key trends, such as the fluctuations in university enrollment and the rise in those taking a break. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data interpretation. For instance, the report states that the number of people looking for work declined by 200 people in 2011, which does not align with the provided data. Additionally, the claim that those taking a break surpassed university students in 2012 is not supported by the visual description. To improve, ensure that all comparisons and numerical changes are strictly supported by the data provided and aim for more precise descriptions of trends.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs that group information. However, there are issues with sentence connectivity. For example, the sentence starting with 'Finally, reaching...' is a fragment and lacks a main clause, which disrupts the flow. To improve, ensure that every sentence is a complete thought and use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'In contrast,' 'Conversely,' or 'Regarding...') to link ideas more smoothly between sentences.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for describing trends (e.g., 'notably declined,' 'surpassing,' 'remained relatively unchanged'). However, there are several spelling errors ('illustartes', 'servey', 'breack', 'dramatialy', 'unchnged') and some slightly awkward word choices ('totally diminish previous increase'). To reach a higher band, focus on accuracy in spelling and use more sophisticated collocations. For instance, instead of 'totally diminish,' you might use 'offsetting the previous increase' or 'negating the earlier rise'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report attempts a variety of structures, but grammatical errors are frequent enough to occasionally hinder clarity. There are issues with sentence fragments (as mentioned in Coherence) and subject-verb agreement/structure (e.g., 'taking a temporary breack... being the least popular option... rose' is a convoluted structure). There are also errors in tense and phrasing. I recommend practicing complex sentence structures, such as using relative clauses and participial phrases, while ensuring that the core subject and verb of each sentence are clearly defined.

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