Line Graph

Band 7+: The graph below shows changes in young adult unemployment rates in England between 1993 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The graph below shows changes in young adult unemployment rates in England between 1993 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image details a line graph showing percentage unemployed from 1993 to 2010 for four categories. For 'Aged 16-24 London', the approximate percentages by year are: 93:22, 94:21, 95:20, 96:18, 97:18, 98:15, 99:17, 00:16, 01:15, 02:15, 03:18, 04:20, 05:20, 06:19, 07:22, 08:24, 09:25, 10:26. For 'Aged 16-24 Rest of England': 93:18, 94:17, 95:15, 96:14, 97:14, 98:13, 99:13, 00:12, 01:11, 02:11, 03:12, 04:13.5, 05:14.5, 06:15.5, 07:20, 08:20, 09:21, 10:21. For 'Overall London': 93:13, 94:12, 95:12, 96:11, 97:11, 98:9, 99:8, 00:8, 01:8, 02:8, 03:8, 04:9, 05:8, 06:8.5, 07:9, 08:10, 09:10, 10:9. For 'Overall Rest of England': 93:10, 94:9, 95:8, 96:7, 97:6, 98:5, 99:5, 00:4, 01:4, 02:4, 03:5, 04:5, 05:6, 06:6, 07:8, 08:8, 09:8, 10:8.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph illustrates levels of unemployment among 16 to 24 years-olds over the period of 20 years in England.

Overall, unemployment was higher in London than in the rest of England. Also, young people had higher unemployment rates rather than the overall population in both areas. Moat figures went down at first, but they increased again after the early 2000s.

In 1993, the unemployment level for young people in London was around 22%, compared to 18% in the rest of England. Both figures declined steadily approximately 17% and 13% in the year of 1998, before fluctuating slightly. From 2003, the rate of unemployment rose dramatically in London and the rest of England , peaking at 26% and 21%, respectively.

By contrast, the percentage of overall unemployment rates was much lower than throughout the period. In 1993, London started at 13%, while the rest of England recorded 10%. Both areas experienced remarkable decrease until the end of 2000s, reaching about 8% and 4%, respectively. After 2003, unemployment rate climbed again , with London reaching nearly 10% and the rest of England stabilising at around 8% in 2010.

Word Count: 187

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

unemployment: 7

london: 5

england: 5

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by providing a clear overview and highlighting key trends. It accurately compares London with the rest of England and young adults with the overall population. The data is generally accurate, with only minor imprecisions (e.g., 'end of 2000s' should be 'early 2000s'). The structure is logical, and the report is well-organized. To improve, ensure precise time references and avoid minor typographical errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is well-organized and easy to follow. The introduction clearly paraphrases the task, and the overview effectively highlights the main trends. The body paragraphs are logically divided between the two age groups, and comparisons are made between London and the rest of England. However, there are minor lapses in cohesion, such as the phrase 'throughout the period' which is slightly vague, and the transition between the two body paragraphs could be smoother. Overall, the paragraphing is managed well, and the message is coherent.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and generally accurate, with some good attempts at variation (e.g., 'declined steadily', 'fluctuating slightly', 'peaking at', 'remarkable decrease'). However, there are a few instances of less precise or repetitive language, such as 'Moat figures' (likely a typo for 'Most figures') and the repeated use of 'unemployment rate' without variation. The range of vocabulary is adequate but not fully flexible or sophisticated, and there is room for more precise and natural phrasing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including comparative forms and complex sentences. However, there are a few errors and awkward phrasings that detract from overall accuracy. For example, 'the unemployment level for young people in London was around 22%, compared to 18% in the rest of England' is fine, but 'Both figures declined steadily approximately 17% and 13%' is missing a preposition ('to approximately'). Also, 'the percentage of overall unemployment rates' is redundant, and 'reaching about 8% and 4%, respectively' is slightly unclear. Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are minor issues with spacing before commas. Overall, the grammar is controlled but not without errors.

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