Line Graph

Band 5+: The graph below shows how prices of "high-tech gadgets" changed over time in Somecountry. Write a report for a university tutor describing the information shown.

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The image displays a line graph titled "Average prices of 'high-tech gadgets' in Somecountry" plotting US dollars on the y-axis (ranging from 500 to 4500, increments of 500) and time on the x-axis (from 2004 Jul-Dec to 2006 Jul-Dec). It compares the price trends of two products: Navigation systems, starting at ~4300 USD in 2004 Jul-Dec, ~4000 in 2005 Jan-Jun, ~3750 in 2005 Jul-Dec, increasing to ~3950 in 2006 Jan-Jun, and dropping to ~3750 in 2006 Jul-Dec; Smart phones, starting at ~2000 USD in 2004 Jul-Dec, decreasing to ~1750 in 2005 Jan-Jun, ~1550 in 2005 Jul-Dec, slightly rising to ~1575 in 2006 Jan-Jun, and reducing again to ~1400 in 2006 Jul-Dec.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph illustrates the price chage of two different high- tech devices over a certain time in a country.

Overall, it is evident that price of the navigation technology was allways expensive compared to smartphoe except end of the period. It is also clear that overall both gadgets prices watched a downward trend throughout the timeline.

Price of navigation system was just under 4000 US dolars at the begining of the periods. However, it experienced a decline until en of the 2005. Then navigation systems price registered a dramatc decrease followed by an slight decrease. It’s ending price was approximately over 2500 US dollars. Furthermore, both devices priceses ened the period equally.

Meanwhile, price of the smart phone was nearly three quarters of navigation systems price when it started the period. Subsequently it registered a marginal fluctuation till the first half of january. During the rest of the timetable it’s price did not experienced a crucial change and stayed constand.

Word Count: 161

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

price: 7

navigation: 4

period: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies and omissions. The description of the navigation system's price fluctuations is not entirely accurate, particularly the ending price. The description of the smartphone's price is also somewhat vague and misses key details. To improve, focus on providing more precise data and capturing all significant price movements for both gadgets. Also, pay attention to grammar and vocabulary to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize the information into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas within and between paragraphs needs improvement. The overall structure is somewhat clear, but the transitions between sentences and ideas are often abrupt, making it difficult for the reader to follow the analysis effortlessly. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas and create a smoother narrative. For example, using transition words like 'However,' 'Moreover,' 'In contrast,' or 'Similarly' can help to clarify the relationships between different points. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of imprecise word choice. While the vocabulary is generally relevant to the topic, it lacks the sophistication and nuance needed to convey the information effectively. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more specific terminology related to price trends and technological devices. For example, instead of 'watched a downward trend,' consider using 'experienced a steady decline' or 'exhibited a downward trajectory.' Also, focus on using more precise language to describe the data, such as specific numerical values and comparative terms.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. These errors frequently impede understanding and detract from the overall quality of the writing. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammatical rules and sentence structures. Pay close attention to verb tenses and ensure they are used consistently throughout the report. Proofread carefully for errors in subject-verb agreement, article usage, and punctuation. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from a language tutor or using grammar-checking tools to identify and correct errors.

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