Bar Chart

Band 5+: The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005. Summarise the information by choosing and describe the main idea, and make comparisons where appropriate.

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Image for topic: The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005. Summarise the information by choosing and describe the main idea, and make comparisons where appropriate.

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The image is a bar graph with percentages from 0-90%, comparing male and female data from 1995 and 2005 among Australia, Switzerland, Iceland, the UK, New Zealand, and the USA. Bars represent: Australia (Male, 1995: ~20%, 2005: ~40%; Female, 1995: ~32%, 2005: ~60%), Switzerland (Male, 1995: ~40%, 2005: ~50%; Female, 1995: ~58%, 2005: ~74%), Iceland (Male, 1995: ~60%, 2005: ~65%; Female, 1995: ~78%, 2005: ~82%), UK (Male, 1995: ~52%, 2005: ~68%; Female, 1995: ~65%, 2005: ~78%), New Zealand (Male, 1995: ~55%, 2005: ~70%; Female, 1995: ~70%, 2005: ~82%), USA (Male, 1995: ~58%, 2005: ~68%; Female, 1995: ~65%, 2005: ~75%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The Given Graph compares data on employment rates of male and female six countries over a decade, starting from 1995.

Overall, the Employment rates for men has an highest an highest workforce in all the six countries compared to women. It is noteworthy that, the employment ratio both among men and women increased in 2005 than that of 1995.

According to the given graph, about 55% of men Employment compared to about 28% of women in 1995. After 10 years in 2005, both male and female increased to about 68% and 38% respectively. Switzerland had an highest employment rates for both the genders in 1995, as well as 2005. In 1995, around 65% of men and 55% of women increased to about 78% and 68% respectively after 10 years.

In case of Iceland, the working males in 1995 were just above 70% while female comprised to 40%. These rates increased both for male ( more than 80%) and female (more than 50%). In the given period Iceland had the best employment ratio for men but not for the women. Furthermore, the UK and USA had almost similar pattern in terms of employment while female in New Zealand has slightly less Employment opportunity compared to the former two countries. About 60% of men were employed in these three countries in 1995 which increased to around 70% in 2005. In case of women employment, UK and USA had slightly better condition than that of New Zealand.

Word Count: 244

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

employment: 9

women: 6

female: 5

increased: 5

about: 5

rates: 4

countries: 4

given: 3

highest: 3

compared: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

4.5

The response partially addresses the task by summarizing the employment rates of male and female in six countries over a decade. However, there are several inaccuracies and omissions in the report. The comparison of employment rates between 1995 and 2005 is not consistently presented for all countries, and the main trends and significant differences are not effectively highlighted. The overview lacks clarity and coherence, and the report would benefit from a more focused and accurate description of the main trends and comparisons.

Coherence & Cohesion

4.5

The report demonstrates some coherence and cohesion, but there are frequent issues with clarity and organization. The information is presented in a somewhat disjointed manner, with ideas lacking logical progression and coherence. Additionally, there are inconsistencies in the use of verb tenses and sentence structures, which affect the overall flow of the report. To improve coherence and cohesion, the report should be better organized with clear and logical progression of ideas, and attention should be paid to maintaining consistency in verb tenses and sentence structures.

Lexical Resource

5.5

The report displays a fairly wide range of vocabulary, but there are instances of inaccurate word choices and limited precision in expression. Additionally, there are some repetitive phrases and imprecise language used throughout the report. To enhance lexical resource, the student should aim for more precise and varied vocabulary, ensuring accurate word choices and expressions to convey the intended meaning effectively. Furthermore, the use of cohesive devices and linking words can improve the overall lexical coherence of the report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

4.5

The report exhibits a mix of sentence structures and a moderate range of grammatical constructions. However, there are numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and article usage. Punctuation errors and inaccuracies in sentence structures also detract from the overall clarity and accuracy of the report. To enhance grammatical range and accuracy, the student should focus on improving sentence structures, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and consistently applying appropriate punctuation and article usage. Additionally, attention to tense consistency is crucial for conveying the information accurately.

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