Bar Chart

Band 4+: The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005. Summarise the information by choosing and describe the main idea, and make comparisons where appropriate.

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Image for topic: The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005. Summarise the information by choosing and describe the main idea, and make comparisons where appropriate.

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The image is a bar graph with percentages from 0-90%, comparing male and female data from 1995 and 2005 among Australia, Switzerland, Iceland, the UK, New Zealand, and the USA. Bars represent: Australia (Male, 1995: ~20%, 2005: ~40%; Female, 1995: ~32%, 2005: ~60%), Switzerland (Male, 1995: ~40%, 2005: ~50%; Female, 1995: ~58%, 2005: ~74%), Iceland (Male, 1995: ~60%, 2005: ~65%; Female, 1995: ~78%, 2005: ~82%), UK (Male, 1995: ~52%, 2005: ~68%; Female, 1995: ~65%, 2005: ~78%), New Zealand (Male, 1995: ~55%, 2005: ~70%; Female, 1995: ~70%, 2005: ~82%), USA (Male, 1995: ~58%, 2005: ~68%; Female, 1995: ~65%, 2005: ~75%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph provides information on employment rates of six countries. For the two years 1995 and 2005. These six countries are Australia, Switzerland, Iceland, UK, New Zealand and USA.

Generally speaking, employment rate increased for both male and female categories across all the provided countries.

Detailed analysis shows Iceland reached the highest employment rate in female category. From around seventy percentage it went up to above eighty percentage. In male category Switzerland reached highest employment rate in 2005. Which is sixty-eight percentage across countries male employment rate remained under female employment rate. Least male employment rate showed by New Zealand in 1995 it was around twenty-four percentage and in 2005 even though increased it remained under forty-two percentage.

Word Count: 118

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

employment: 7

percentage: 5

countries: 3

female: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies the main trends but includes some inaccuracies and omissions. The description of specific data points lacks precision, and there are some issues with language and clarity. To improve, focus on providing more accurate data and ensure clear and precise language throughout the report. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear structure and logical flow. The introduction is basic and doesn't effectively set the stage for the analysis. The body paragraphs jump between different countries and categories without clear transitions, making it difficult to follow the main trends. Consider organizing the report by comparing overall trends first, then highlighting specific countries or categories with significant changes. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas and improve the flow of information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is quite basic and repetitive. There is limited use of more sophisticated language to describe the data. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'employment rate increased,' try using synonyms like 'rose,' 'grew,' or 'expanded.' Also, incorporate more precise language to describe the data, such as 'a significant increase,' 'a marginal decline,' or 'remained relatively stable.' Expanding your vocabulary and using more varied language will enhance the quality of your report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and subject-verb agreement. For example, the sentence 'Which is sixty-eight percentage across countries male employment rate remained under female employment rate' is grammatically incorrect and difficult to understand. Pay close attention to sentence structure, verb tenses, and subject-verb agreement. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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