Pie Chart

Band 5+: The graph below shows the online sales for the different retails sectors in America for the year 2008,2010. Write a report to the university lecturer describing the charts.

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The image includes two pie charts detailing the percentage distribution of online retail sector sales in America for 2005 and 2010: In 2005, Electronics & Appliance comprise 35%, Food & Beverage 22%, Home Furnishings 25%, Video Games 18%; In 2010, Electronics & Appliance account for 30%, Food & Beverage 32%, Home Furnishings 15%, Video Games 23%.

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The given graph illustate the online sales for the some retails sectors in America from 2008 to 2010.

In 2005 the biggest proportion is electronics and appliance it’s just over a third (35%). the second place in the ranking made up home furnishings 25%. Around a fifth made up food and beverage 22%. The last place belonged to video games 18%.

In 2010 electronics and appliance slowly decreased it composed 30%. Food and bevearage on the contrary grew by 32% so it composed second high percentage. Video games is little went up by 23%. And finally the lowest sector is home furnishings in compare with 2005 it totally falled by 15%.

Overall, in 2005 the high sector was electronics and appliance but in 2010 it declined by second place.Food and beverage was absolutely rose. Video games also uplift a little. Home furnishings in 2010 was a last percentage, in compare 2005 it really decreased,

Word Count: 154

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

electronics: 3

appliance: 3

second: 3

furnishings: 3

video: 3

games: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by describing the changes in online sales across different retail sectors between 2005 and 2010. The description is generally clear, but there are some inaccuracies in the data and some awkward phrasing. To improve, ensure data accuracy and use more precise language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the flow of information is not always smooth. The introduction is weak, and the overview could be more comprehensive. Transitions between paragraphs are present but could be improved to enhance the logical connection between ideas. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and lacks precision. There are instances of inappropriate word choice ('uplift a little,' 'totally falled'). To improve, focus on using more specific and varied vocabulary related to describing data and trends. Explore synonyms for common words and phrases to add sophistication to your writing. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('illustate,' 'made up'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. Punctuation errors are also present. To enhance grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread your work and focus on mastering basic grammatical rules. Practice using a wider range of sentence structures to improve the complexity and accuracy of your writing.

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