Line Graph

Band 4+: The graph below shows the participants who have entered Olympics since it began. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The graph below shows the participants who have entered Olympics since it began. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays a line graph detailing numerical data points for male, female, and total participants across five years: 1924, 1944, 1964, 1984, 2004; in 1924 males: 4900, females: 1000, total: 5900; in 1944 males: 5000, females: 2000, total: 7000; in 1964 males: 5100, females: 3000, total: 8100; in 1984 males: 5200, females: 4000, total: 9200; in 2004 males: 5300, females: 7000, total: 12300.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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This line graph delineates the male,female and total who have entered Olympics from 1924 to 2004

Overall, it can be clearly seen that the number of participants of female’s were the worst one in eighty-year period but then it started increasing,while number of participants of male’s were the most stable one.And total was the best one from the beginning.

In 1924 female’s position were not that good comparing to others, it’s only began to go up in 1984 and in 2004 females almost reached male’s level. And males weren’t that suprising because it didn’t change a lot in this period.Total were the best one from the beginning and its also went up in 1984 and stayed the best in number of participants.

Comparing all of them the total would be the best one in this period and female’s would be the worst one while the male would be the most stable one

Word Count: 152

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

total: 3

number: 3

female's: 3

would: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and presents some relevant information from the graph. However, the analysis lacks depth and specific data points to support the observations. The language used is quite basic and repetitive, which affects the clarity and impact of the summary. To improve, focus on providing more precise data references and using a wider range of vocabulary to describe the trends and comparisons. Also, ensure that the structure is clear and logical, with a more developed overview and specific details in the body paragraphs.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and paragraphing. The ideas are not presented in a logical order, making it difficult to follow the main points. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak or missing, which affects the overall flow. Consider organizing the report with a clear introduction, body paragraphs focusing on specific trends, and a conclusion. Use cohesive devices such as 'however,' 'in contrast,' and 'similarly' to link ideas and improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is limited use of synonyms or more precise language to describe the trends in the graph. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'went up,' try 'increased,' 'rose,' or 'grew.' Expand your vocabulary related to describing trends and data to enhance the report's clarity and sophistication. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. Sentence structures are simple and lack complexity. Focus on improving grammatical accuracy by reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Vary sentence structures to enhance the report's readability and grammatical range.

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