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Band 5+: The graph below shows the proportion of holidays to different destinations which were taken as package holidays by UK residents.

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Image for topic: The graph below shows the proportion of holidays to different destinations which were taken as package holidays by UK residents.

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The image shows, from 1993 to 2007, UK residents' package holiday visits abroad as a proportion of all holidays: "All other countries" declined from ~60% in 1993 to ~50% in 2007; "Europe" fell from ~47% in 1994 to ~36% in 2007; "North America" remained relatively stable, fluctuating slightly around 25%, from just below 30% in 1993 to just above 20% in 2007.

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The graph illustrates the proportion of various touristic destinations, which were chosen by UK citizens as package holidays. Overall, Europe visits decreased, while North America’s and all other countries indicators remaimed mostly stable.

Europe visits showed grow in the beginning, with a slight drop, but continued falling in the next decade. North America had the lowest number of UK visitors and remained staible for the whole period, without steady rises and drops. Meanwhile, all other countries overtook most of the visitors and remained the highest for the whole period.

In contrast, Europe holiday package visitors were slightly decreasing from approximetly 55 per cent to 50 in the period of 1999 to 2003. Then it had been constantly falling in numbers from 50 to less than a 40 per cent. While North America indicators had a steady rise in the beginning, it remained stable for the rest of the time.

Word Count: 149

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Overall Band Score

5.5

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

north: 3

visitors: 3

remained: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the main trends for the three destination categories. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions. For example, the initial increase for Europe is not clearly supported by the data, and the specific figures mentioned (e.g., 55% to 50% for Europe) are not accurate. The report also lacks a clear comparison between the categories, and the final paragraph introduces new information without a clear link to the overall trends. To improve, focus on accurately summarizing the key features, using precise data from the graph, and ensuring a clear and logical structure. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction and body paragraphs, but the organization could be improved. The second paragraph mixes trends for all three categories without clear separation, and the third paragraph introduces new data (e.g., specific years) that could be better integrated. Use clearer paragraphing to group similar information, and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea. Transition words and phrases (e.g., 'In contrast', 'Meanwhile') are used, but more cohesive devices could help the flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but limited in range and precision. Words like 'visits', 'indicators', and 'stable' are repeated, and some terms are used inaccurately (e.g., 'touristic destinations' instead of 'holiday destinations'). There is an attempt to use varied language (e.g., 'overtook', 'steadily rising'), but more precise and natural phrasing would improve the report. Use synonyms and more specific vocabulary related to trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined gradually').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect clarity. Examples include 'remaimed' (remained), 'staible' (stable), 'approximetly' (approximately), and 'a 40 per cent' (should be '40 per cent'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and tense consistency. The range of sentence structures is limited, with many simple sentences. To improve, focus on proofreading for spelling and grammar, and try to use a mix of complex and compound sentences to demonstrate greater control.

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