Bar Chart

Band 5+: The graph illustrates trends in sport preference by gender in a given school.

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Image for topic: The graph illustrates trends in sport preference by gender in a given school.

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The image shows a bar chart comparing the number of boys and girls playing various sports: in Cycling, boys are at 30, girls at 40; in Tennis, boys are at 20, girls at 30; in Football, boys are at 40, girls at 20; in Swimming, boys are at 10, girls at 20.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph shown illustrates trends in sport preference by gender in a given school. As a quick overview , we can see that the amount of boys playing sports in the school is more than the girls.

In cycling, football and tennis , the amount of boys participating in these three sports is a lot more than the girls. In cycling and football the amount of boys is the same which 40 in total. While in tennis the amount of boys is less but still more than the girls with a number of 30 boy participants. In cycling the amount of girls playing is 30 which is the highest amount of girls participants between all the sports while in football and tennis the number of girls is a lot less with 15 girls in football and 20 in tennis.

Swimming is the only sport we’re the girl participants dominate the boys participants. With a total of what looks around 18 girls in total and close to 12 boys in the club which has the least amount of boy participants between all the sports .

As a conclusion, the amount of boys participating as a total in all these sports dominates the girls total participation with only swimming being the only sport were the girls number is more than the boys.

Word Count: 220

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

girls: 9

amount: 8

sports: 5

total: 5

participants: 5

football: 4

sport: 3

cycling: 3

tennis: 3

which: 3

number: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some trends and provides some data, but there are inaccuracies and a lack of clarity. The overview is very general. The body paragraphs contain some incorrect data points. For example, the report states that the amount of boys is the same in cycling and football, which is not correct according to the visual description. Also, the report states that in cycling the amount of girls playing is 30, while the visual description indicates 40. To improve, ensure data accuracy and provide more specific comparisons. Also, avoid using vague language like "a lot more" without quantifying the difference.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of information could be improved. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, instead of repeatedly stating 'the amount of boys/girls,' use synonyms or pronouns to maintain reader interest and improve cohesion. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the data to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate but lacks sophistication. There is frequent repetition of phrases like 'the amount of boys/girls,' which could be replaced with more varied and precise language. Incorporating a wider range of vocabulary related to trends and comparisons would enhance the report. For instance, instead of 'a lot more,' consider using 'significantly higher' or 'considerably greater.' Also, be careful about using informal language; for example, 'what looks around 18 girls' should be more precise and formal. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the amount of boys playing sports... is more'), incorrect use of articles, and imprecise language. Sentence structures are relatively simple, and there is limited use of complex sentences. To improve, focus on using a wider range of grammatical structures and ensuring accuracy in basic grammar. Proofread carefully to correct errors in agreement, tense, and word choice.

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