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Band 6+: The graph shows information about the amount of money which was earned by three bakeries in Calgary, over a ten-year period between 2000 and 2010.

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The image displays a line graph showing the yearly income in dollars ($) for three bakeries from 2000 to 2010. For Amandine Bakery, the income figures are: 2000 ($55,000), 2001 ($55,000), 2002 ($55,000), 2003 ($55,000), 2004 ($55,000), 2005 ($52,000), 2006 ($58,000), 2007 ($70,000), 2008 ($98,000), 2009 ($104,000), and 2010 ($106,000). For Mari Bakeshop, the data is: 2000 ($82,000), 2001 ($94,000), 2002 ($90,000), 2003 ($80,000), 2004 ($90,000), 2005 ($62,000), 2006 ($56,000), 2007 ($60,000), 2008 ($42,000), 2009 ($40,000), and 2010 ($40,000). For Bolo Cakery, the income figures are: 2000 ($20,000), 2001 ($27,000), 2002 ($23,000), 2003 ($38,000), 2004 ($38,000), 2005 ($38,000), 2006 ($37,000), 2007 ($44,000), 2008 ($62,000), 2009 ($64,000), and 2010 ($65,000).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The following graph shows the annual earning of three bakeries in Calgary- Amandine Bakery, Mari Bakeshop and Bolo Cakery from 2000 to 2010.

Overall,the graph shows that the Amandine Bakeshop had the most earning at aproximatly 100000 in 2010, Bolo Cakery had a steady increament in yearly income roughly at 60000. Unlike these two bakeries which had a rise in annual income, Mari Bakeshop had a huge down fall in their yearly profits from 80000 to 40000.

The Amandine bakery had the same income for 5 years (2000-2005) at around 60000 and grew at an astounding rate to reach an all time high at above 100000.

The Mari Bakeshop started at an all time high which was just above 80000 and peaked nearly at 100000 but then the shop suddenly declined in yearly income and had a huge drop from 2004 to 2008 and had a similar annual income for the next two years.

On comparing the Bolo cakery to the other bakeries it began at an all time low in 2000 making around just 20000 a year the shop had many fluctuations but with smooth rise in yearly income the bakery peaked at just above 60000 from 2008 to 2010

Word Count: 201

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

income: 6

bakeshop: 4

yearly: 4

annual: 3

bakeries: 3

amandine: 3

bakery: 3

cakery: 3

60000: 3

above: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by identifying the main trends for all three bakeries and providing a clear overview. You have successfully highlighted the contrasting trajectories: the growth of Amandine and Bolo versus the decline of Mari Bakeshop. To improve, ensure more precise data grouping and avoid repetitive phrasing. While the overview is good, try to avoid using 'all-time high' or 'all-time low' unless you are comparing the data to a much larger historical context; in a single graph, it is more accurate to say 'the highest/lowest point in the period shown.' Additionally, be careful with minor spelling errors (e.g., 'aproximatly', 'increament') to maintain a professional tone.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the cohesion is somewhat weakened by repetitive sentence structures and a lack of sophisticated transition signals. Some sentences are quite long and run-on, which can make the progression of ideas slightly difficult to follow. To improve, try using a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'In contrast,' 'Subsequently,' 'Regarding...') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus. Breaking down long, complex sentences into smaller, more manageable ones would also enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for describing trends (e.g., 'steady increment,' 'astounding rate,' 'fluctuations'), but there are several spelling errors ('aproximatly', 'increament', 'down fall') and some imprecise word choices ('the most earning' instead of 'the highest earnings'). There is also some repetition of terms like 'all time high' and 'yearly income.' To reach a higher band, aim for greater precision in your word choices and ensure correct spelling throughout. Using more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' would also demonstrate better lexical control.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage (e.g., 'the Amandine Bakeshop'), and punctuation (e.g., missing spaces after commas and improper use of hyphens). Some sentences are run-on sentences, particularly in the final paragraph, which lacks necessary punctuation to separate distinct ideas. Focus on mastering sentence boundaries and ensuring that complex sentences are punctuated correctly to improve overall accuracy.

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