Pie Chart

Band 5+: The graph shows what visitors to Edinburgh like most about the city. Summarise the information.

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Image for topic: The graph shows what visitors to Edinburgh like most about the city. Summarise the information.

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The image contains a pie chart displaying an Edinburgh visitors survey on the city's best features: its summer arts festival 36%, its friendly inhabitants 22%, its museums and galleries 16%, its cafés, bars and restaurants 16%, and other 10%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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In this modern society, tourism spots are getting busy with visitors from all around the world. In this essay, I will talk about features of Edinburgh that attract visitors the most based on a survey.

Firstly, it is known that Edinburgh’s summer arts festival gave a major impact on half of the visitors with 36% in total. On the other hand, Edinburgh is likely to be a friendly place for tourist to enjoy their trip. With around 22% users, people could imagine how comfortable and nice the society is.

Moreover, hang out places, such as bars and restaurant, aiming the same percentage with museum and gallaries as Edinburgh’s top features for foreigners with 16% each. Therefore, some people other places as their favorite spot in Edinburgh.

To summarize, it is known that visitors enjoy local activity such as summer fair and desire to experience an interaction with local residents. In addition, its place-to-go shares a similar interest to the tourist when they are visiting Edinburgh.

Word Count: 165

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

visitors: 4

edinburgh: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, summarizing the key features of Edinburgh that attract visitors according to the pie chart. There are some minor issues with language and organization, but overall, the response is clear and coherent. To improve, focus on using more precise language and structuring the information more effectively. For example, avoid phrases like "gave a major impact on half of the visitors" and instead use more direct language such as "was the most popular feature, attracting 36% of visitors." Also, ensure that the summary accurately reflects the data in the pie chart without misrepresenting any information.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear structure and logical flow. The introduction is generic and doesn't directly address the task. The body paragraphs jump between different features without clear transitions. The conclusion is repetitive and doesn't provide a strong summary. To improve coherence, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure smooth transitions between ideas. Avoid unnecessary introductory phrases and focus on presenting the data in a concise and organized manner.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary and some phrases are not used accurately. For example, 'gave a major impact on half of the visitors' is not the most precise way to describe the data. To improve lexical resource, try to use more specific and varied vocabulary related to tourism and surveys. Paraphrase the information from the graph using synonyms and different expressions.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. For example, 'With around 22% users, people could imagine how comfortable and nice the society is' is grammatically incorrect and unclear. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on using correct verb tenses, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and constructing clear and concise sentences. Proofread carefully to identify and correct any errors.

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