Process Diagram

Band 6+: The illustration shows information about how an igloo is built from snow. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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Image for topic: The illustration shows information about how an igloo is built from snow. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The image depicts a step-by-step guide for building an igloo: Step 1 involves using a snow saw with dimensions 3 x 2 ft to hand-pack snow and cut snow blocks, then laying the first large circular base layer; Step 2 includes using blocks slightly smaller to fit the base layer, leaving a hole at the top for ventilation; Step 3 shows the growth of the circular pattern with approximate snow block placement; Step 4 explains placing blocks over the hole as the igloo closes with an entrance cut with a snow saw; Step 5 illustrates digging an entrance hole and covering it with snow blocks.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The given diagrams illustrate the construction of an igloo from snow.

Overall, this process includes five steps, beginning with cutting the hard-packed snow and ending with creating the entrance of the igloo.

At the beginning of the process, using a tool to cut the hard-packed snow into ideal snow block sizes, which are measured 3x8x15 inch. Next, the edges of the blocks are smoothed to attach them easily. After these blocks are smoothed, they are put in a circle building upward with many layers, which form a sphere shape. Before completing the igloo, they dig the hole under the wall to create an underground entrance. Finally, a slightly bigger block compared to the others are placed on the top to finish the foundation of the igloo.

The process continues with loose snow, shovel them onto the wall and pack into crevices to hold the blocks together. Smoothing the inside of the igloo by hand meticulously, and then if there is some extra snow, it needs to be shoved out. At the final stages of the process, the hole on the wall is digged to make space for the ground entrance before covering it with snow blocks to avoid snow can block the entrance.

Word Count: 203

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

process: 4

entrance: 4

blocks: 4

igloo: 3

block: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by outlining the main steps in igloo construction. However, the description lacks specific details and accurate measurements from the diagram, which affects the clarity and precision of the summary. There are also some inaccuracies in the description of the steps. To improve, focus on including more specific information from the diagram, such as dimensions and tools used, and ensure the steps are described accurately.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents the information in a generally logical sequence, but the flow could be improved with better use of cohesive devices. Paragraphing is attempted, but the second paragraph feels somewhat disjointed from the first. Consider using more transition words and phrases to link ideas and steps more explicitly. For example, phrases like 'Following this,' 'Subsequently,' or 'In the next stage' could enhance the coherence between steps. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the process to improve clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for describing the process, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. While words like 'sphere shape' and 'crevices' are appropriate, the report could benefit from more specific and descriptive language related to construction techniques and materials. Try to incorporate more technical terms or synonyms to demonstrate a broader lexical range. For instance, instead of 'put in a circle building upward,' you could use 'arranged in a spiral formation.' Also, ensure that measurements are accurately represented. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors and awkward phrasing impact the overall clarity. There are issues with verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. For example, 'the hole on the wall is digged' should be 'a hole in the wall is dug.' Pay close attention to proofreading for these common errors. Also, focus on constructing more grammatically sound and varied sentences to enhance the sophistication of your writing.

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