Process Diagram

Band 6+: The illustration shows information about how an igloo is built from snow. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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Image for topic: The illustration shows information about how an igloo is built from snow. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The image depicts a step-by-step guide for building an igloo: Step 1 involves using a snow saw with dimensions 3 x 2 ft to hand-pack snow and cut snow blocks, then laying the first large circular base layer; Step 2 includes using blocks slightly smaller to fit the base layer, leaving a hole at the top for ventilation; Step 3 shows the growth of the circular pattern with approximate snow block placement; Step 4 explains placing blocks over the hole as the igloo closes with an entrance cut with a snow saw; Step 5 illustrates digging an entrance hole and covering it with snow blocks.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The process illustrates how an igloo is built from snow.

Overall, the process consists four main stages; sawing, placing, packing and digging. The process begins with finding packed snow and ends with covering the hole with snow blocks.

In the first step the hard-packed snow is cut using a saw. Then, the ice should have ideal block size for constructing igloo. Next, the large blocks of the bose arranged in a circle. In the next step, on the top of the igloo slightly too large block is placed. It uses to close the top opening. Following this, the blocks are placed in a circle building upward. Subsequently, a hole is dug under the wall to create on entrance.

At the next stage, snow is shoveled onto the igloo and packed into all crevices. After that, igloo is smoothed inside using hand and extra snow is shoved out and thrown away outside. Finally, a hole is dug in the shape of the desired entrance and covered with snow blocks

Word Count: 168

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

igloo: 5

process: 3

blocks: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies and omissions. The description of the steps is not always clear, and there is some repetition. To improve, focus on providing a more accurate and detailed description of each step in the process, and ensure that the information is presented in a clear and concise manner.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents the information in a generally logical sequence, but the organization into paragraphs could be improved. The overall structure is somewhat clear, but transitions between steps could be smoother. Consider using more explicit linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the process. For example, instead of just saying 'In the next step,' use phrases like 'Following this stage' or 'Subsequently, in the next phase.' This will enhance the flow and make the process easier to follow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for describing the process, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. The report uses basic terms like 'blocks,' 'hole,' and 'snow.' To enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more specific vocabulary related to construction or materials. For example, instead of 'hole,' you could use 'ventilation aperture' or 'entrance tunnel.' Also, try to vary your word choices to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'placed,' you could use 'positioned,' 'arranged,' or 'fitted.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense consistency, article usage, and sentence structure. For example, 'the process consists four main stages' should be 'the process consists of four main stages,' and 'the large blocks of the bose arranged in a circle' should be 'the large blocks for the base are arranged in a circle.' To improve grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread your work and pay attention to subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and proper sentence construction. Varying sentence structure can also enhance the overall quality of the writing.

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