Process Diagram

Band 4+: The image below shows the different stages involved in making paper. Write a 150-word report explaining the information given below.

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Image for topic: The image below shows the different stages involved in making paper. Write a 150-word report explaining the information given below.

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The image depicts the paper-making process starting from timber; first, timber is transported and undergoes de-barking using a de-barking machine, followed by chipping in a chipping machine, then it proceeds to either mechanical pulping, chemical pulping, or is processed via a hydrapulper, before advancing to screening and cleaning, and finally arriving at the paper making machine to produce paper.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram illustrates several proccess involved in producing paper.

Overall, making paper contains several stages, which starts with timbering trees and ends with paper making machine producing raw papers.

At starting, tree’s are being timbered. Then, timberd tree’s are put on a excavator machine, afterwords the machine carries tree’s into a De-Barking house.

After that, the tress goes through a chipping machine which chips the tree’s into several pieces. Just after chipping the tree’s, the different peices goes though both mechanical and chemical pulping process which then is being hydrapulpered. Up next, the pieces are being cleaned and screening. Finally, with a help of paper making machine raw paper are produced and ready to be used.

Word Count: 116

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

machine: 5

tree's: 5

paper: 4

several: 3

making: 3

which: 3

being: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately covers the key stages of the paper-making process, providing a general overview. To improve, focus on using more precise language and avoiding repetitive sentence structures. Also, ensure accurate use of articles (a, an, the) and prepositions. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents the information in a generally understandable sequence, but the flow is disrupted by grammatical errors and a lack of clear transitions between stages. Paragraphing is present but could be improved to better group related processes. To improve coherence, use more precise transition words and phrases to link the stages of the paper-making process. For example, words like 'subsequently,' 'following this,' and 'finally' can help guide the reader through the sequence. Also, ensure each sentence logically follows from the previous one.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and somewhat repetitive. There's a reliance on simple terms like 'machine' and 'goes through,' which limits the precision and sophistication of the description. To enhance lexical resource, try to incorporate more specific and varied vocabulary related to the paper-making process. For example, instead of 'put on a excavator machine,' you could use 'transported by an excavator.' Use a thesaurus to find synonyms for overused words and aim for more technical terms where appropriate.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('tree's are being timbered'), subject-verb agreement issues ('the tress goes'), and misuse of articles ('a excavator machine'). Sentence structure is also quite simple, limiting the complexity of the description. To improve grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread your work, paying close attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Practice using a wider range of sentence structures, including complex sentences, to add depth and sophistication to your writing.

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Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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