Multiple Graphs

Band 4+: The infographics below show employment statistics for UK residents by English language proficiency in 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The infographics below show employment statistics for UK residents by English language proficiency in 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows that 25.7 million people aged 16–64 were in employment, with English as their main language seeing 71.9% employed, comprising 75.5% of men and 68.3% of women; 'Proficient' in English shows 65.4% employed, with 72.3% of men and 58.3% of women; 'Non-proficient' in English sees 48.3% employed, with 68.0% of men and 34.3% of women. For those employed, common occupations are in English as their main language: 17.7% Professional, 13.2% Technical; 'Proficient' in English: 19.2% Elementary, 17.1% Professional; 'Non-proficient' in English: 38.2% Elementary, 21.1% Skilled trades.

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The infographics below provides information about employment statistics for UK residents by English language proficiency in 2013

There are three graphics according to English language knowledge. At the bottom of each piechart graphic given information about each genders employment percent. There is one infographic about most common occupations .

Firstly, information provided in infographics shows that most UK residents who have English as their main language was taken to the job with 71.9% accuracy. Whos who is proficient in English was employed by 65.4%. Less than half of the UK residents who were ‘non-proficient’ in English was employed.

Secondly, In every case, men employed to the work with higher percentage than women. Men was employed to the work with 68%-75.5% accuracy, while women accuracy is between 34.3% and 68.3% for UK residents.

Overal, we can see that individuals who takes English as their main language were employed more and they were at professional either technical occupation, while who proficient in English were at elementary and professional job. Those who are ‘non-proficient’ in English was taken to the elementary and skilled trades majors. Knowledge of English was necessary skill for employment for UK residents.

Word Count: 193

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

english: 9

residents: 4

language: 4

employed: 4

information: 3

about: 3

employment: 3

accuracy: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main requirements of the task by identifying the different proficiency levels and attempting to compare employment rates and occupations. However, the response is somewhat limited in its depth of analysis. There is a tendency to list data rather than fully integrating it into a cohesive comparison. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary (e.g., instead of 'taken to the job' or 'accuracy', use 'employment rate' or 'proportion') and ensure that grammatical structures are used to highlight trends and relationships between the data points. Additionally, ensure that the overview clearly summarizes the main trends without getting bogged down in specific numbers.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat logical, but the progression of ideas is hindered by poor sentence structure and repetitive phrasing. The introduction is slightly repetitive of the task, and the transition between describing the employment rates and the occupations is abrupt. To improve, use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'In terms of occupation,' 'Regarding gender differences,') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic sentence. Avoid starting sentences with 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' in a way that feels mechanical; instead, aim for a more fluid integration of ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is quite limited and often used incorrectly, which obscures meaning. For example, the word 'accuracy' is used several times where 'rate' or 'percentage' would be appropriate. Phrases like 'was taken to the job' or 'takes English as their main language' are unnatural. To improve, focus on learning academic collocations related to statistics (e.g., 'the proportion of,' 'accounted for,' 'represented') and avoid using words like 'accuracy' when referring to data points. Work on using more precise verbs to describe trends and comparisons.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the report that impact readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'infographics... provides', 'men was', 'individuals who takes'), incorrect pronoun usage ('Whos who is'), and awkward sentence constructions. There is also a lack of control over tense and article usage. To improve, practice basic sentence structures to ensure subject-verb agreement is consistent. Focus on using complex sentences correctly by using subordinating conjunctions (e.g., 'while,' 'whereas,' 'although') to compare data points more effectively.

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Band 4+: The infographics below show employment statistics for UK residents by English language proficiency in 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The infographics below show employment statistics for UK residents by English language proficiency in 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The infographics below show employment statistics for UK residents by English language proficiency in 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The infographics below show employment statistics for UK residents by English language proficiency in 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The infographics below show employment statistics for UK residents by English language proficiency in 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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