Line Graph

Band 5+: The line graph below gives information about men and women smokers in Bhutan from 1960 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The line graph below gives information about men and women smokers in Bhutan from 1960 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image displays a line graph titled "Men & Women Smokers in Bhutan (per 1000)" from 1960 to 2000 at intervals of 5 years; Men smokers: 1960-600, 1965-550, 1970-525, 1975-500, 1980-450, 1985-425, 1990-400, 1995-375, 2000-350; Women smokers: 1960-75, 1965-150, 1970-200, 1975-250, 1980-300, 1985-350, 1990-325, 1995-300, 2000-275.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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IELTS:

Overall, it can be seen from the chart that men smokers become lesser than initial period. However, in comparison, women smokers were not as many as males, unfortunately, the trend increased over the years.

To begin with, the trend for male smokers started at 600 thousand in 1960. Then followed by 500 units in 1980, while the figure for women showed messy change between 1960 and 1970, demonstrating 200 000 smokers.

What stands out most is that it reached its highest point at 350 thousand in 1975.

Moving to the final period both figures showed insignificant fluctuations. Exapt for the period 1985-2000, male smokers trend had unsteady movements, while the latter decreased gradually posterior to hitting the peak. In the end, their trends had 100 units difference between male and female smokers.

Word Count: 133

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

smokers: 5

period: 3

trend: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies and a lack of specific detail. To improve, focus on providing more precise data points and avoid vague language. Also, ensure that the description of trends is accurate and well-supported by the data. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the progression of ideas is not always smooth. The introduction and overview could be more concise and focused. The body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences, making it difficult to follow the main points. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak, resulting in a disjointed flow. To improve coherence, use more explicit transition words and phrases to connect ideas and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some repetition of words and phrases. While the vocabulary used is generally accurate, it lacks sophistication and precision. There are instances of unnatural or awkward phrasing. To enhance lexical resource, try to use a wider variety of synonyms and more precise language to describe the trends and data. Focus on learning and incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary related to describing graphs and trends.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. Punctuation is also inconsistent. These errors detract from the clarity and accuracy of the report. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on reviewing and practicing basic grammar rules, particularly verb tenses and sentence structure. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors before submitting your work.

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