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Band 5+: The line graph below gives information about the percentage of women aged 15-64 in employment between 1965 and 1995.

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Image for topic: The line graph below gives information about the percentage of women aged 15-64 in employment between 1965 and 1995.

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The image displays numerical data points for the years 1965, 1975, 1985, and 1995 for five regions: Iceland, Canada, Germany, Chile, and Turkey. Iceland shows values of 90, 80, 82, and 70, respectively. Canada presents values of 70, 70, 64, and 60. Germany's values are 50, 55, 60, and 60. Chile's data points are 40, 50, 40, and 40. Turkey's figures are 20, 25, 28, and 30.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given picture delineates the ratio of working women aged 15-64 in five different countries over a 6-year period (2003-2009)

Overally, while 15-to-64-year-old women were the primary working source in Iceland, that of Turkey was minimal compares to others.

Initially, Iceland has the highest percentage of female workers aged 15-64 in employment, at around 84%, followed by that of Canada and Germany, at 70 % and 60 % respectively. Meanwhile, the shares of 15-to-64-year-old women in Chile and Turkey was about 35% and 25%. In the next 10 years, while both the percentage of female wokers in Iceland and Turkey experienced a significant decrease, the given proportion from Chile climbed considerably to nearly 40%. The same period witnessed no changes in the rates of Canada and Germany.

Afterthat, most of all the statistics remain almost unchanged despite some neligible fluctuations, whereas only the percentage of women aged 15-64 in Germany’s manualling market underwent a minimal rise by approximatle 5 %. Additionally, the levels regarding the rates of women in forementioned age group in these five nations’s employment were the same as the beggning.

Word Count: 183

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

women: 5

15-64: 3

iceland: 3

turkey: 3

percentage: 3

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Task Response

The report demonstrates an attempt to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies and irrelevant information, particularly regarding the years and trends described. The organization is somewhat unclear, and the language contains errors that impede understanding. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data provided in the graph, organizing the information logically, and using precise language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize information into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are sometimes abrupt, affecting the overall coherence. For instance, the shift from the initial overview to the detailed data in the third paragraph could be smoother. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the logical progression of information.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the task, but there are instances of imprecise word choice ('Overally,' 'manualling market') and awkward phrasing ('that of Turkey was minimal compares to others'). Expanding your vocabulary and focusing on using more precise and natural language would enhance the clarity and impact of your writing. Pay attention to collocations and idiomatic expressions to improve the sophistication of your lexical resource.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors and inaccuracies are present throughout. These errors include incorrect verb tenses ('has the highest percentage'), subject-verb agreement issues ('the shares...was'), and misuse of prepositions and articles. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality of the writing. Focus on improving your understanding and application of grammatical rules, and proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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