Line Graph

Band 7+: The line graph illustrates the changes in the number of parcels transported by two main mail services companies between 1920 and 2000.

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Image for topic: The line graph illustrates the changes in the number of parcels transported by two main mail services companies between 1920 and 2000.

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The image displays a line chart titled 'Parcels delivered by Federal Express and TNT Mail Services', showing the number of parcels from 1920 to 2000 on the y-axis (0 to 30000). For FedEx, the number of parcels delivered were: 1920, 15,500; 1930, 18,000; 1940, 24,000; 1950, 12,500; 1960, 11,500; 1970, 17,000; 1980, 18,000; 1990, 18,500; and 2000, 18,000. For TNT Mail Services, the corresponding figures were: 1920, 5,500; 1930, 6,000; 1940, 8,000; 1950, 8,500; 1960, 12,000; 1970, 10,500; 1980, 11,000; 1990, 21,500; and 2000, 25,000.

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Overall, it is evident that the number of parcels delivered by FedEx recorded a moderate fluctuation throughout the period. While, the number of parcels delivered by TNT registered a slight increase between 1920 and 2000.

At the beginning of the period, the number of parcels delivered by FedEx stood at 15000, following by TNT at just over 5000. From 1920 to 1950 the number of parcels delivered by FedEx increased steadily, reaching a peak at roughly 24000 before declining gradually to almost 13000. At the same time, the number of parcels delivered by TNT grew moderately to approximately 8000.

Thereafter, the number of parcels delivered by FedEx remained unchanged until 1960 before rising significantly to around 18000 in 1980. On the other hand, from 1950 to 1980, the number of parcels delivered by TNT experienced a slight fluctuation before climbing dramatically reaching a peak at nearly 24000 in the final of the period. From 1980 onward, the number of parcels delivered by FedEx stayed constant until 2000.

Word Count: 167

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

number: 8

parcels: 8

delivered: 8

fedex: 5

period: 3

before: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and compares the two companies, but there are some inaccuracies and omissions. For example, the peak for FedEx is stated as 24000 in 1940, but the data shows 24000 in 1940, which is correct. However, the report says FedEx declined to almost 13000 in 1950, but the actual figure is 12500. Also, the report mentions TNT reaching a peak at nearly 24000 in the final period, but the data shows 25000 in 2000. The report could be improved by including more precise data and ensuring all key features are described accurately.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is well-structured with clear paragraphing and logical progression. However, there are minor lapses in cohesion, such as the use of 'While' at the start of a sentence without a preceding clause, and some transitions could be smoother. Consider using more varied linking words and ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a distinct time period or trend.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate and includes some good collocations (e.g., 'moderate fluctuation', 'climbing dramatically'). However, there is some repetition (e.g., 'number of parcels delivered by') and a few inaccuracies (e.g., 'following by' should be 'followed by'). To improve, use synonyms for 'number of parcels' and vary sentence structures. Also, ensure precise phrasing like 'at the end of the period' instead of 'in the final of the period'. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences. However, there are some errors: 'following by' (should be 'followed by'), 'in the final of the period' (should be 'at the end of the period'), and missing articles (e.g., 'reaching a peak at nearly 24000' is acceptable but could be improved). Punctuation is generally correct. To achieve a higher score, ensure error-free grammar and more varied sentence openings.

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Band 7+: The line graph illustrates the changes in the number of parcels transported by two main mail services companies between 1920 and 2000.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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The line graph illustrates the changes in the number of parcels transported by two main mail services companies between 1920 and 2000.

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