Line Graph

Band 6+: The line graph illustrates the number of visitors in millions to a particular region for three different purposes: business, holiday, and meeting friends and relatives over a period from 1989 to 2009.

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Image for topic: The line graph illustrates the number of visitors in millions to a particular region for three different purposes: business, holiday, and meeting friends and relatives over a period from 1989 to 2009.

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The image shows a line graph with visitor numbers in millions from 1989 to 2009 for three purposes: business, holiday, and meeting friends and relatives. In 1989, business: 7 million, holiday: 4 million, meeting friends and relatives: 2 million. In 1994, business: 5 million, holiday: 6 million, meeting friends and relatives: 3 million. In 1999, business: 6 million, holiday: 8 million, meeting friends and relatives: 4 million. In 2004, business: 6.5 million, holiday: 6.5 million, meeting friends and relatives: 4.75 million. In 2009, business: 7.5 million, holiday: 9 million, meeting friends and relatives: 6 million.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart shows data, in the scale of millions, of people going to a determined region fromo 1989 to 1009. It is divided by the nature of the visit, which can be related to business, vacation or relationship-driven.

Overall, work and relationships related visits underwent a stable growth throughout the whole period. On the contrary, tourism, although having an higher starting point, has seen significant ups and downs.

In the first 10 years, both holidays and “meeting” visitors saw a high growth, with tourism peaking at 9 millions. Nevertheless, after reaching his apex, holidays viewed a steep drop; that, combined with consistency of the other visitors increase, led to a reduction of the gap between these 3 factors around 2004.

In the following time arc, all the 3 parameters rose simultanously until the period between 2009 and 2010, where the dotted lines started slightly to decline. At the same time tourism has renowed its top result, recording 9 million people.

Word Count: 160

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

tourism: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and provides an overview, but there are some inaccuracies and omissions. The overall trend is described, but specific data points are not always accurate (e.g., tourism peaking at 9 million in the first 10 years, which is not supported by the data). The report also mentions a decline after 2009, which is outside the given period. To improve, ensure that all data references are accurate and that the report stays within the time frame provided. Additionally, avoid vague statements and focus on clear, precise descriptions of the trends.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs, but the flow is sometimes disrupted by unclear references and awkward phrasing. For example, 'In the first 10 years' is vague, and 'the dotted lines' is confusing. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and some sentences are long and convoluted. To improve, use clearer topic sentences, ensure each paragraph has a central idea, and use a range of linking words (e.g., 'while', 'whereas', 'in contrast') to show relationships between data points.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but not always precise or varied. Words like 'growth', 'ups and downs', and 'steep drop' are acceptable but could be more sophisticated (e.g., 'upward trend', 'fluctuations', 'sharp decline'). There are also some inaccuracies: 'fromo' is a typo, 'renowed' should be 'renewed', and 'simultanously' is misspelled. To improve, use a wider range of synonyms and ensure correct spelling and word choice.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For example, 'fromo' is a typo, 'an higher' should be 'a higher', 'his apex' should be 'its apex', and 'holidays viewed' should be 'holidays saw'. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and tense consistency. The range of sentence structures is limited, with many simple and compound sentences. To improve, proofread carefully, use a variety of complex structures (e.g., subordinate clauses), and ensure subject-verb agreement and correct tense usage.

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