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Band 5+: The line graph shows the number of video game discs that were bought in four months in 2014 from four different game stores, and the pie chart shows the percentage of games that had highest sales over this time.

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The image shows a line graph and a pie chart; the line graph details monthly video game disc sales for IGN (January: 2500, February: 2200, March: 1500, April: 1200), GameStop (January: 1800, February: 2300, March: 3000, April: 3200), Cyberium (January: 2000, February: 2600, March: 2500, April: 1500), Ubihard (January: 1000, February: 700, March: 900, April: 700); the pie chart indicates highest sales percentages with Bioshock Infinite: 30%, Pokemon Platinum: 28%, Assassin’s Creed Unity: 15%, Far Cry 3: 14%, Others: 13%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph illustrates how many video game discs that were bought in four months in 2014 from four different game stores, while the pie chart give information about the poportion of games that had highets sales throughout this time.

Overall, the figure for video game discs that were purchased in four months from Cyberium witnessed an upward pattern, while the opposite was true for Game Stop, IGN and Ubihard whereas the most popular games was Bioshock Infinite. In addition, the number of video game discs that were bought from Ubihard was the highest in first month, while that of Cyberium was the highest in the last month.

Regarding line gragh, the figure for video game discs that were bought from Cyberium started at about 1750, rising graduacally to a peak at approximate 3200 in April. In constrast, the number of video game discs that were purchased from Ubihard and GameStop in January was roughly 2800 and 2600, respectively, followed by, there was a plunge to virtually 1350 and 1150 in the final month, correspondingly. Additionally, about 1100 was observed in the figure for video game discs that were bought from IGN in January, afterwhich it saw a slighly decreased at roughly 1000 in April.

Turning to pie chart, the percentage of games that had highest sales in Bioshock Infinite was 30%, doubling Asssassin’s Creed Unity in over this time. Moveover, Poemon Platinum was the second popular game with 28%, while about 24% for Far Cry 3. In addtion, the poportion of games that had highest sales in others was 13%.

Word Count: 261

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

video: 6

discs: 6

bought: 4

while: 4

about: 4

games: 4

highest: 4

sales: 3

figure: 3

cyberium: 3

ubihard: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address all parts of the task, but there are significant issues with data accuracy and logical consistency. The overview contains contradictory information; for example, it states Cyberium had an upward pattern, but then claims Ubihard was the highest in the first month (when the data suggests otherwise). Furthermore, the specific data points provided in the body paragraphs frequently contradict both the visual description and the student's own overview (e.g., the values assigned to Cyberium, GameStop, and Ubihard do not align with the trends described). To improve, ensure that the trends identified in the overview are accurately reflected in the data details, and double-check that the numbers cited match the trends being described to maintain internal consistency.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, there are significant issues with cohesive devices and logical flow. Some linking words are used incorrectly (e.g., 'whereas' and 'while' are used in ways that create logical contradictions between the trends described), and some transitions feel abrupt. To improve, ensure that your overview accurately reflects the main trends and that your comparison words (like 'in contrast' or 'similarly') correctly match the relationship between the data points you are discussing.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, frequently reusing phrases like 'the number of video game discs that were bought'. There are also several spelling errors (e.g., 'poportion', 'highets', 'gragh', 'graduacally', 'constrast', 'slighly', 'Asssassin', 'Moveover', 'Poemon') and word formation issues (e.g., 'saw a slighly decreased'). To improve, aim to use a wider variety of synonyms for 'bought' (e.g., purchased, sold, acquired) and 'show' (e.g., depicts, presents, outlines), and focus on improving spelling accuracy.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report attempts a variety of structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the pie chart give', 'the most popular games was'), article usage, and sentence construction (e.g., 'followed by, there was a plunge'). There are also errors in preposition usage and word forms (e.g., 'at approximate 3200', 'saw a slighly decreased'). To improve, practice using complex sentence structures more accurately and pay close attention to singular/plural agreement and the correct use of adjectives versus adverbs.

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Band 5+: The line graph shows the number of video game discs that were bought in four months in 2014 from four different game stores, and the pie chart shows the percentage of games that had highest sales over this time.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The line graph shows the number of video game discs that were bought in four months in 2014 from four different game stores, and the pie chart shows the percentage of games that had highest sales over this time.

The line graph shows the number of video game discs that were bought in four months in 2014 from four different game stores, and the pie chart shows the percentage of games that had highest sales over this time.

The line graph shows the number of video game discs that were bought in four months in 2014 from four different game stores, and the pie chart shows the percentage of games that had highest sales over this time.

The line graph shows the number of video game discs that were bought in four months in 2014 from four different game stores, and the pie chart shows the percentage of games that had highest sales over this time.

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