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Band 5+: The line graph shows the percentage of Australians who were employed between 1976 and 2011 in four groups.

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The image shows four employment lines for Men 18-25, Women 18-25, Men 26-34, and Women 26-34 from 1975 to 2010; Men 18-25 start above 80% in 1975, slightly decreasing throughout, especially around 1990 and 2005, ending slightly below 70%; Women 18-25 start around 50% in 1975, increase with minor fluctuations, crossing Women 26-34 around 1985, slightly above 60% by 2010; Men 26-34 maintain near constancy over 90% throughout; Women 26-34 start just above 40% in 1975, significantly rising, especially between 1975-1995, peaking near 80% by 2010.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The linear graph compares the percentage of 4 age groups with job who were from Australia for over a thirty five-year period ending at 2010. The units are provided in percentages.

Overall, while the figures for both women groups mainly experienced a growth, that for men underwent a decline. Moreover, all age groups saw a slight drop which then regained it’s former pace.

Regarding of working women group aged 18-25, starting at just over 50%, a figure that then rose to around 57% in 1990, which was followed by a fluctuation in the next four years. The percentage of 18-25 aged women group grew significantly to about 59% in 1993, after which it improved with stability to just over 60% at the end of the span. Group of women with the age of around 26-34 experienced similar pattern, yet with a group change. That aged women group started with below 50% in the initial year, after which it was followed by a dramatic rise till slightly over 60% in 1990. Then it had a dip during 3 years and regained it’s potential in 1994 with around 63-64%, a figure that then increased till the end of the period, reaching just below 80%.

The rate for the groups of employed men which were 18-25 aged showed a disparity. Beginning with its peak phase at 75%, it declined till around 71% in 1990. Decrease was followed by a fluctuation similar to the women groups in the next 4 years. A figure that then dropped further till the 2010, finishing the period with slightly under 70%. Even though 26-34 aged men remained it’s leader position in the employment during the whole graph, it underwent a mild drop till the just below 90% in the final year, having a fluctuated percents between 1990-1994 years like other trends.

Word Count: 303

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

women: 6

groups: 5

which: 5

group: 5

around: 4

years: 4

period: 3

18-25: 3

figure: 3

followed: 3

below: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main trends and provides a description of the data for all four groups. The overview is present, though the claim that 'all age groups saw a slight drop which then regained its former pace' is a bit generalized and not entirely accurate for all categories. The report successfully identifies the upward trend for women and the downward trend for younger men. However, there are several grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'with job who were from Australia', 'Regarding of working women group', 'regained it's potential') that occasionally hinder clarity. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring subject-verb agreement and correct pronoun usage (its vs it's). Additionally, try to group data more effectively to avoid repetitive sentence structures.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the progression is often hindered by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors that disrupt the flow of information. Some sentences are fragmented (e.g., the sentence starting with 'Regarding of working women group...'), which makes it difficult for the reader to follow the intended meaning. To improve, focus on using cohesive devices more naturally and ensuring that every sentence is a complete thought. Avoid starting sentences with prepositional phrases that do not lead to a main clause.

Lexical Resource

There is an attempt to use a variety of vocabulary to describe trends (e.g., 'dramatic rise', 'fluctuation', 'disparity'), but many word choices are inaccurate or unidiomatic. Phrases like 'with job who were from Australia', 'regained it's potential', and 'fluctuated percents' are not natural English. Additionally, there is some repetition and misuse of terms like 'group change' and 'leader position'. Aim to learn more precise collocations for data description, such as 'employment rates' instead of 'percents' or 'groups with job'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage (e.g., 'the 26-34 aged men'), and sentence structure (fragmented sentences). The misuse of possessive pronouns (e.g., 'it's' instead of 'its') is also evident. While you attempt to use complex sentence structures, they often result in errors. To improve, practice constructing clear, error-free simple and compound sentences before moving on to more complex structures, and pay close attention to punctuation and noun-adjective agreement.

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Band 5+: The line graph shows the percentage of Australians who were employed between 1976 and 2011 in four groups.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The line graph shows the percentage of Australians who were employed between 1976 and 2011 in four groups.

The line graph shows the percentage of Australians who were employed between 1976 and 2011 in four groups.

The line graph shows the percentage of Australians who were employed between 1976 and 2011 in four groups.

The line graph shows the percentage of Australians who were employed between 1976 and 2011 in four groups.

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Check Your Answer On This Topic?

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