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Band 5+: The line graph shows visitor numbers to 5 attractions in the city of Parkvale from 1996 to 2016

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The image shows visitor numbers (in thousands) to five attractions in Parkvale (State Zoo, National Gallery, Indigenous Art Centre, Museum, Aquarium) from 1996 to 2016: State Zoo - 1996: ~350, 2000: ~400, 2004: ~380, 2008: ~540, 2012: ~750, 2016: ~720; National Gallery - 1996: 800, 2000: ~790, 2004: 400, 2008: ~450, 2012: ~390, 2016: ~340; Indigenous Art Centre - 1996: 600, 2000: ~570, 2004: 600, 2008: ~460, 2012: 600, 2016: 640; Museum - 1996: 200, 2000: ~420, 2004: ~400, 2008: ~380, 2012: ~420, 2016: ~380; Aquarium - 1996: 200, 2000: 180, 2004: ~150, 2008: ~170, 2012: ~220, 2016: ~270.

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‎The line graph illustrates the number of visitors to five attractions in the city of Parkvale between 1996 and 2016.

‎Overall, it is evident that the National Gallery had the highest number of visitors. In addition, the number of visitors to the Indigenous Art Centre experienced a steady increase, while the State Zoo saw a decline.

While visitors to the National Gallery started at approximately 250 thousand in 1996 and it rose sharply to 900 thousand, the figure for the Aquarium started to decline at around 450 thousand to 900 thousand, and although the Indigenous Art Centre visitors showed some fluctuation slightly in the early years, the gap between National Gallery and Aquarium widened gradually.

In contrast, the Museum’s visitors number remained stable at around 420 thousand people, while the State Zoo experienced a drop to approximately 190 thousand in 2000 then fluctuated, which indicates that the National Gallery became increasingly popular in recent years. ‎

Word Count: 156

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

visitors: 6

thousand: 6

number: 4

national: 4

gallery: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. The description of the trends and values is not always correct, and there are instances of irrelevant or inaccurate information. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data from the graph and avoid misstating values or trends. Ensure that the overview captures the main trends effectively and that the body paragraphs provide accurate details and comparisons.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents an overview and attempts to highlight key trends, but the organization could be improved for clarity. The flow of information is somewhat disrupted by the way details are presented. Consider grouping attractions with similar trends together in paragraphs to enhance coherence. For example, discuss the National Gallery and Indigenous Art Centre in one paragraph, and the Museum and State Zoo in another. Also, the use of cohesive devices could be more precise to guide the reader through the information.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary appropriate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and sophistication. For instance, instead of saying 'saw a decline,' you could use more specific terms like 'experienced a downward trend' or 'witnessed a decrease.' Also, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to trends and changes, such as 'plateaued,' 'peaked,' or 'remained constant.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors and phrasing issues affect clarity. For example, the sentence 'While visitors to the National Gallery started at approximately 250 thousand in 1996 and it rose sharply to 900 thousand, the figure for the Aquarium started to decline at around 450 thousand to 900 thousand...' is convoluted and contains inaccuracies regarding the data. Focus on constructing clear, concise sentences and double-checking for subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate data representation. Pay close attention to the use of articles and prepositions.

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Band 5+: The line graph shows visitor numbers to 5 attractions in the city of Parkvale from 1996 to 2016

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The line graph shows visitor numbers to 5 attractions in the city of Parkvale from 1996 to 2016

The line graph shows visitor numbers to 5 attractions in the city of Parkvale from 1996 to 2016

The line graph shows visitor numbers to 5 attractions in the city of Parkvale from 1996 to 2016

The line graph shows visitor numbers to 5 attractions in the city of Parkvale from 1996 to 2016

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