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Band 6+: .: The lines illustrate the reletionship between rate of employed men and women, aged between 18-34 in Australia from 1976 to 2011

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The image contains a line graph titled 'Employment of Men and Women Aged 18-34 in Australia (1976 vs 2011)', plotting Percentage Employed against Age from 18 to 34. For Men in 1976, the percentages by age are: 18(56), 19(60), 20(63), 21(66), 22(67), 23(67), 24(66), 25(69), 26(69), 27(68), 28(67), 29(68), 30(73), 31(78), 32(80), 33(82), 34(87). For Men in 2011: 18(42), 19(46), 20(49), 21(52), 22(55), 23(56), 24(54), 25(53), 26(53), 27(52), 28(52), 29(55), 30(61), 31(63), 32(64), 33(68), 34(71). For Women in 1976: 18(52), 19(51), 20(50), 21(50), 22(49), 23(48), 24(45), 25(41), 26(40), 27(40), 28(39), 29(39), 30(38), 31(38), 32(37), 33(35), 34(34). For Women in 2011: 18(48), 19(43), 20(44), 21(44), 22(44), 23(45), 24(47), 25(47), 26(46), 27(43), 28(40), 29(39), 30(37), 31(36), 32(35), 33(34), 34(33).

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The line graph illustates the employment of two genders aged from 18 to 34 in Australia between 1976 and 2011.Units are given in percentages.

Overall, the rate for men represented higher percentage in both years than their counterparts. Likewise, the figure for employment of women saw a slight increase during the whole timescale.

Looking at the figures for men, in the first period they reached their peak of employment, hovewer by the second timeframe men underwent a moderate decrease. The figure for men comprise in around 55% in 1976, while by the 2011 in fell to just above 40. Notably, males aging 18-22 and 29-34 showed comparetively higher percentages of employment in both given years.

Moving to rates for women, in 1976 their percentage of employment was just above 50 and by the 2011 they experience negligible increase, and stood for approximitely 41. Likewise, the graphic for women workers aging 24-27 showed an increase in the second period.

Word Count: 158

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

employment: 5

their: 3

women: 3

increase: 3

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Task Response

The report addresses the requirements of the task, providing an overview and highlighting key trends in the employment rates of men and women in Australia between 1976 and 2011. However, there are some omissions and areas where more detail or accuracy could improve the response. To improve, include more specific data points to support your observations. Also, ensure that the comparisons between the two genders and across the time periods are more precise.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate overview, but the organization could be improved for better flow. The use of cohesive devices is present but could be more sophisticated to avoid choppiness. Paragraphing is generally acceptable, but transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Consider using more specific and descriptive language to convey the trends and data more effectively. For instance, instead of 'slight increase,' you could quantify the increase or use a more descriptive term like 'marginal growth.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. Focus on improving sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of articles and prepositions. Pay close attention to punctuation to enhance readability. Reviewing and correcting these errors will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.

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.: The lines illustrate the reletionship between rate of employed men and women, aged between 18-34 in Australia from 1976 to 2011

The line graph shows information about the proportion of employed men and women aged 18-34 in Australia between 1976 and 2011. Overall, men’s employment rates showed a general increase with age in both years, whereas women’s figures tended to decline over the same period. Employment among younger people aged 18 to 25 was comparatively lower […]

Band 9

.: The lines illustrate the reletionship between rate of employed men and women, aged between 18-34 in Australia from 1976 to 2011

The graph illustrates the percentage of female and male employees in the region of Australia in two distinct years: 1976 and 2011. Overall, it is evident that the percentage of male employees rises as they get older in both years. But women’s employment has gone down by aging. Both genders at their young-adult period were […]

Band 6+

.: The lines illustrate the reletionship between rate of employed men and women, aged between 18-34 in Australia from 1976 to 2011

The line graph illustrates the data about employment of male and female workers aged from 18 to 34 in Australia between 1976 and 2011. It is clearly seen that in both years men’s employment rate was higher than women’s and showed better employment with age through the given period while women’s rate demonstrate the opposite […]

Band 7+

.: The lines illustrate the reletionship between rate of employed men and women, aged between 18-34 in Australia from 1976 to 2011

The line graph illustrates the data about the employment of male and female workers aged from 18 to 34 in Australia between 1976 and 2011. It is clearly seen that in both years men’s employment rate was higher than women’s and showed better employment with age through the given period while women’s rate demonstrate the […]

Band 6+

.: The lines illustrate the reletionship between rate of employed men and women, aged between 18-34 in Australia from 1976 to 2011

Writing task 1 The line graph illustrates the percentages of employment of two genders aged 18-34 in Australia, in 1976 and 2011. It is clear that, in both periods the number of male employees was higher compared to their female counterparts’. Moreover, the number of male workers was as high as they were older as […]

Band 6+

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Band 6+: .: The lines illustrate the reletionship between rate of employed men and women, aged between 18-34 in Australia from 1976 to 2011

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Answers On The Same Topic:

.: The lines illustrate the reletionship between rate of employed men and women, aged between 18-34 in Australia from 1976 to 2011

.: The lines illustrate the reletionship between rate of employed men and women, aged between 18-34 in Australia from 1976 to 2011

.: The lines illustrate the reletionship between rate of employed men and women, aged between 18-34 in Australia from 1976 to 2011

.: The lines illustrate the reletionship between rate of employed men and women, aged between 18-34 in Australia from 1976 to 2011

.: The lines illustrate the reletionship between rate of employed men and women, aged between 18-34 in Australia from 1976 to 2011

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