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Band 5+: The maps below compare the town of Brindell and local areas in 1800, 1900 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The maps below compare the town of Brindell and local areas in 1800, 1900 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays three diagrams for the years 1800, 1900, and 2000. In 1800, the areas include Farmland (crops), Woodland, River Stour, Brindell, and farmland (animals). By 1900, the areas adjust to include Farmland (crops), Woodland, River Stour, Brindell, Bun Hill, Industry, and Village for workers. By 2000, the areas remain Farmland (crops), Woodland, River Stour, Brindell, Industry, and Village for workers, with the addition of Bun Hill Park near Bun Hill, portraying shifts in land use and settlement expansion over time.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart below illustrates the town of Brindel and loads areas in 1800, 1900 and 2000. In this essay i will compare main features.

In 2000, size of River Stour became less than 1800’s. The area of Brindells has increased from 1800 to 2000. In 1900, crops farmland replaced with village for workers named Bun Hill. In 2000’s, right next to it appeared Bun Hill park, also count of industry grown from 3 to 8 in the same year. Woddland showed stable performance.

In 1800’s, crops farmland owned the biggest land ever as River Stour, while Brindells land decreased and animals farmland has been removed. 3 new industries and village for workers appeared in the old place of animals land in 1900, while woodland has been increased stable. In 2000, crops farmland became smaller than at the beginning, and the number of intustry has enlarged. A Bun Hill Park appeared near Wooddland, occupying part of it. But the size of the River Stour has become smaller

Word Count: 166

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

farmland: 4

river: 3

stour: 3

crops: 3

appeared: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the main changes in land use and settlement over the three time periods. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions, such as the incorrect spelling of 'Brindell' and 'Woodland', and the statement about the number of industries growing from 3 to 8 is not supported by the visual description. The report also lacks a clear overview and some comparisons are vague. To improve, ensure accurate data representation, provide a clear summary of the main trends, and use precise language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure with an introduction and body paragraphs, but the flow is disrupted by unclear referencing and abrupt transitions. For example, the phrase 'In this essay i will compare main features' is unnecessary and informal. The organization of information could be improved by grouping related changes and using cohesive devices more effectively. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a clear set of features and that comparisons are made smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but limited, with some inaccuracies and repetitions. Words like 'loads areas' instead of 'local areas', 'count of industry' instead of 'number of industries', and 'intustry' instead of 'industry' show a lack of precision. There is also repetition of phrases like 'crops farmland' and 'village for workers'. To improve, use a wider range of synonyms and more precise terms, such as 'agricultural land', 'residential area', and 'industrial zone'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. Examples include missing articles ('size of River Stour' should be 'the size of the River Stour'), incorrect verb forms ('has been increased stable' should be 'remained stable'), and subject-verb agreement issues. The range of sentence structures is limited, and there are run-on sentences. To improve, focus on using a variety of complex structures accurately and proofread for common errors.

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