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Band 6+: The number of people taking part in a wildlife survey in Britain between 2001 and 2009

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The image presents a table regarding participation in a wildlife survey in Britain from 2001 to 2009, showing data across three categories: Adults, Children, and Total. In 2001, adults participated 36,000, children 12,000, total 48,000; in 2003, adults 212,000, children 36,000, total 248,000; in 2005, adults 332,000, children 32,000, total 364,000; in 2007, adults 331,000, children 31,000, total 362,000; in 2009, adults 270,000, children 270,000, total 540,000.

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The table chart illustrates the number of individuals participating in a wildlife organization in Britain from 2001 to 2009. Overall, this figure for two groups: adults and children witnessed an upward trend during the period. Additionally, the number of adults recorded a significant increase compared with children throughout.

In 2001, adults appealed to 36000 people, doubling the figure for children which went to Britain only 12000 people. After two years, adults still increased notably to 212000 people while this figure for children just 36000 people. The upward trend in 332000 in 2005 for the number of people who was adults. In contrast, there was a considerable fall in the number of children to 32000.

The year 2007 experienced a slightly decline to 331000 for adults before witnessing a significant drop to 27000 people. In contrast, this figure for children rocket remakebly to 270000 people at the end of the period.

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 7

adults: 6

children: 6

number: 4

figure: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the information presented in the table. The overall trends are identified, and some key data points are mentioned. However, the organization could be improved for better clarity, and there are some inaccuracies and omissions. To improve, focus on providing more precise data and ensuring accurate comparisons. Also, enhance the structure by grouping information logically and using more varied language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The progression of ideas is not always smooth, and some sentences feel disjointed. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, transition words and phrases could help to clarify the relationships between different data points and time periods. Also, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and that all sentences within the paragraph contribute to that focus.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are instances where the word choice could be more precise. For example, 'appealed to' is not the most appropriate way to describe the number of adults participating. Consider using synonyms and more specific vocabulary to enhance the clarity and impact of your writing. Also, be mindful of collocations and ensure that words are used in their correct context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. For example, 'rocket remakebly' is not grammatically correct. Pay close attention to these areas and proofread carefully to identify and correct errors. Also, try to vary your sentence structure to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical control.

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