Pie Chart

Band 4+: The pie chart below show the average house hold expenditures im Japan and Malaysia.

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The image displays two pie charts comparing hotel customer service ratings from 100 visitors in 2005 and 2010. In 2005: Excellent 5%, Good 14%, Satisfactory 45%, Poor 21%, Very poor 15%. In 2010: Excellent 28%, Good 39%, Satisfactory 17%, Poor 12%, Very poor 4%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart illustrates costumer satisfaction score over five years changes of the Parkway Hotel.

Overall, the data shows both upward and downward fluctuations. Over the all time period, satisfactory has decreased visibly. This rate has declined from 45 percent to 17 percent. Furheremore, the rate of very poor significantly descrease. Finally, poor score showed 11 percent decline.

On the other hand, the rate of excellent experienced a substantial increase also this trend increased almost five times. Likely, the rate of good rose approximetly 3 times, rising to 14 percent to 39 percent.

In conclusion, good rate and excellent rate showed upward trend while these two trend increased, poor rate, very poor rate and satisfactory rate showed downward trend. The questionnaire regarding the hotel were as follows.

Word Count: 127

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percent: 4

trend: 4

showed: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and changes in customer satisfaction ratings over the five-year period. The overall structure is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs describing the changes, and a conclusion. To improve, ensure that all numerical data is accurate and double-checked against the pie charts. Also, avoid adding irrelevant information at the end. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the flow of ideas is not always smooth. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence. The introduction and conclusion are present but somewhat basic. Consider using more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas and improve the overall flow of the report. For example, instead of simply stating 'On the other hand,' you could use phrases like 'Conversely' or 'In contrast' to create a stronger connection between contrasting points.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively simple and repetitive. There is limited use of more sophisticated or precise language to describe the data. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to trends and comparisons. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'rate,' consider using synonyms like 'proportion,' 'percentage,' or 'level.' Also, aim to use more descriptive adjectives and adverbs to add detail and nuance to your descriptions.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('descrease' instead of 'decreased'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. Sentence structure is also quite basic, limiting the complexity of the ideas expressed. To improve, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles and prepositions. Varying sentence structure can also make the writing more engaging and sophisticated.

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