Pie Chart

Band 6+: The pie chart below show the average house hold expenditures im Japan and Malaysia.

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The image displays two pie charts comparing hotel customer service ratings from 100 visitors in 2005 and 2010. In 2005: Excellent 5%, Good 14%, Satisfactory 45%, Poor 21%, Very poor 15%. In 2010: Excellent 28%, Good 39%, Satisfactory 17%, Poor 12%, Very poor 4%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given pie charts provide information about the results of a questionnaire that asked visitors to the parkway hotel how they proportion the hotel’s customer service over the period of five years from 2005 to 2010.

At first glance, it can be seen that the dominant feature of the charts was the sharp growth of the Good and Excellent hotel parkway customer service, contrasted Satisfactory and poor with the decline over the time period shown.

When it comes to the hotel parkway customer service in 2005, Satisfactory started as the top with 45 percent. While the excellent figure was the lowest at 5 percent. Meanwhile, poor 21 percent, good 14 percent and very poor 15 percent.

Later, however, parkway hotel customer service experienced a dramatic decline and bottomed out at approximately 17 percent and poor 12 percent in 2010. Moreover, good continued to grow and reached 39 percent and excellent around 28 percent respectively, at the end of the period, which saw excellent finished figure was the highest.

Word Count: 168

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percent: 8

parkway: 4

hotel: 4

customer: 4

service: 4

excellent: 4

period: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by summarizing the key trends in the pie charts, such as the increase in 'Excellent' and 'Good' ratings and the decrease in 'Satisfactory' and 'Poor' ratings. The data is accurately reported, and the comparison over time is clear. However, there are minor language issues (e.g., 'how they proportion' should be 'how they rated') and a slight inconsistency in the conclusion (stating 'Excellent' was the highest when 'Good' was higher). These do not significantly detract from the overall response. To improve, ensure precise vocabulary and consistent data interpretation.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally organized with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs, but there are some issues with coherence and cohesion. The progression of ideas is sometimes unclear, and the use of cohesive devices is not always effective. For example, the transition between paragraphs could be smoother, and some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which affects the overall flow. To improve, focus on clear paragraphing and use a wider range of cohesive devices appropriately. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that ideas are logically connected.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but there is limited flexibility and precision. Some word choices are inaccurate or awkward (e.g., 'proportion' instead of 'rated', 'hotel parkway' instead of 'Parkway Hotel'). There is some repetition, and the range of vocabulary is not wide enough to achieve a higher band. To improve, expand your vocabulary and use more precise and natural collocations. Pay attention to word forms and ensure that terms are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors that cause some difficulty for the reader. These include issues with sentence structure, verb tenses, and punctuation. For example, fragments and run-on sentences are present, and there are errors in subject-verb agreement. To improve, practice constructing a variety of complex sentences accurately. Review basic grammar rules, particularly those related to tense consistency and sentence boundaries. Proofreading your work can help eliminate these errors.

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