Pie Chart

Band 4+: The pie chart below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years.

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The image shows pie charts for New Zealand's online retail sector sales, with 2003 data featuring travel at 36%, film/music at 21%, books at 19%, and clothes at 24%; 2013 data highlights travel at 29%, film/music at 33%, books at 22%, and clothes at 16%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart illustrated that the ratia of online shopping sales for retail sectors in New zealand and the years start from 2003 to 2013.

Overall, The main differences into four sales platform has completely changed. Specially, travel and film/music sectors these two height segment. But, In 2013 the clothes sales ratio has decreased,

On the on hand, In 2003, the ratio of online shoping sales for retail in travel and film platfrom was 36% and 21% respectively. Other’s two platfrom such as books and clothes are 19% and 24% respectively.

On the other hand, The percentage of online shopping sales for retail consumers, these platfrom has changed in 2013.Firstly, The travel sectors faced a small decreased in 2013 and the ratio stood at 29% second height as well .Secondly,the film/music platfrom has dramatically increased and the ratio stood 33% which is the height percentage in 2013.Thirdly, the clothes sales for the retail sector faced a height decreased between two period and the ratio stood at 16%

Word Count: 167

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sales: 6

ratio: 5

retail: 4

height: 4

platfrom: 4

online: 3

sectors: 3

travel: 3

clothes: 3

stood: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies and a tendency to list data points rather than synthesize them effectively. The organization is present but could be improved for clarity. To improve, focus on grouping information and highlighting key trends rather than simply listing percentages. Also, pay close attention to grammar and vocabulary to ensure accuracy and clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The overview is weak, and the body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions. The information is not presented in a cohesive manner, making it difficult to follow the main points. Improve the overall structure by providing a clearer introduction, overview, and well-defined paragraphs with transitions.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and sometimes inaccurate ('ratia' instead of 'ratio,' 'height segment' instead of 'highest segment'). There is a lack of precision in describing the data. Expand your vocabulary related to describing proportions, changes, and comparisons. Use more precise language to convey the information accurately. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect use of articles and prepositions. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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Band 6+

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Band 8+

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