Pie Chart

Band 4+: The pie chart below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years.

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The image shows pie charts for New Zealand's online retail sector sales, with 2003 data featuring travel at 36%, film/music at 21%, books at 19%, and clothes at 24%; 2013 data highlights travel at 29%, film/music at 33%, books at 22%, and clothes at 16%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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the pie charts compare the onliiine shopping sale for retail sectors in New Zealand.

Overall, The highest online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand 2003 was travel and in 2013 was film/music while lowest is in 2003 was books and in 2013 was cloths.

in details, The online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand was in 2003 the travel have maximum was 36 Percent. Follwed by the clothes and films/music have 24 percent and 21 percent respectfully. and the lowest sales books.

so for the shopping sales for retail sector in 2013 the highest busniss was film/music have high sales of 33 percent follwed by travel and books have approximately 29 percent and 22 percent close to each other and the minimum sale in 2013 was cloths have 16% shopping sales which was the lowest business of retail sector in 2003 and 2013 years.

Word Count: 147

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sales: 6

percent: 6

retail: 5

shopping: 4

sectors: 3

travel: 3

lowest: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some areas for improvement. The organization is generally clear, but could benefit from more distinct paragraphing to separate the description of each year. The language is mostly accurate, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. To improve, focus on using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures, and ensure that your grammar is accurate. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and paragraphing. The ideas are not presented in a logical sequence, making it difficult to follow the comparison between the two pie charts. Consider using more cohesive devices and structuring the report with a clear introduction, body paragraphs focusing on specific comparisons, and a concise conclusion.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is limited use of synonyms or more precise language to describe the data. Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to trends, proportions, and comparisons to enhance the description. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. Sentence structure is often simple and lacks complexity. Focus on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence construction to enhance clarity and readability.

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