Pie Chart

Band 7+: The pie chart below shows the distribution of global smartphone sales by brand in 2023.

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The image shows a pie chart of global smartphone market share for 2023, detailing Apple at 30.0%, Samsung at 23.0%, Xiaomi at 20.0%, Oppo at 15.0%, and OnePlus at 12.0%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart demonstrates the distribution of the market share of five companies, producing and selling smartphones worldwide in 2023.

Overall, Apple and Samsung had the highest percentage of the market share. Xiaomi, Oppo and Oneplus made up smaller propositions of the market. A clear gap between the two groups can be observed.

In terms of market leadership, Apple had a dominant position with 30% of shares, whereas Samsung took up the second place having 25%. These two brand made up more than a half of the smartphone market with Apple being slightly ahead.

However, the other companies demonstrated a smaller share at the global market. Xiaomi held 20%, while Oppo and Oneplus had a smaller portion with 15% and 10 respectively. Despite having individual shares lower than the market leaders, these three companies collectively represented a substantial segment of the global market.

Word Count: 143

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

market: 8

share: 3

companies: 3

apple: 3

smaller: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively summarizes the key features of the pie chart, providing a clear overview of the distribution of global smartphone sales by brand in 2023. The comparison between market leaders and other companies is well-articulated. To improve, ensure that all data is completely accurate. For example, Samsung's market share is reported as 25% in the report, but the visual description states 23%. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overview, followed by details of the leading brands and then the remaining companies. The structure is logical and easy to follow. However, cohesion could be improved by using more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. For example, in the second paragraph, the transition between the overall statement and the specific details of Apple and Samsung could be smoother. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, clear idea to enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary related to market share and distribution. Terms like 'dominant position,' 'substantial segment,' and 'collectively represented' are used appropriately. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more specific vocabulary related to market analysis or business reporting. For example, instead of 'smaller propositions,' you could use 'niche segments' or 'minor market holdings.' Also, avoid repetition by using synonyms where appropriate.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. There are a few errors, such as 'These two brand made up more than a half,' which should be 'These two brands made up more than half.' Also, 'Oneplus had a smaller portion with 15% and 10 respectively' should be 'Oppo and OnePlus had a smaller portion with 15% and 12% respectively'. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and accurate reporting of percentages. Proofreading carefully will help eliminate these errors.

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