Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie chart below shows the native languages spoken by students at Bakersfield Senior College over two separate years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. - Write at least 150 words. - You should spend around 20 minutes on this task.

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Image for topic: The pie chart below shows the native languages spoken by students at Bakersfield Senior College over two separate years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. - Write at least 150 words. - You should spend around 20 minutes on this task.

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The image displays a pie chart titled "Smartphone Use by US Attorneys in one Year by Operating System" which shows the distribution of smartphone operating systems used. The percentages for each category are: Iphone 62%, Android 20%, BlackBerry 5%, Windows 3%, and None 10%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart below illustrates the preffered operating systems of smart phones (iphone, android, blackberry, windows and none) that are used by attourneys in one year in the US

Overall, we can see that most US attourneys prefer to use iphones at 62%, while the least favourite is windows smart phone being only 3%, we can also see that there is a 10% that does not prefer to use a smart phone.

looking at the pie chart we can see that iphone is significantly more preffered by attourneys than other smart phone brands taking 62% of the phones used, followed by android at 20% of attourneys using it.

Blackberry comes third at only 5% of attourneys in the US preferring it over other smart phone operating systems, lastly comes windows smart phones taking the least (3% of attourneys using it), there is 10% of American attourneys that does not use any smartphones.

Word Count: 152

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

attourneys: 7

smart: 6

phones: 3

windows: 3

phone: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie chart and makes relevant comparisons. The overall structure is clear, with an overview and detailed paragraphs. However, there are some minor inaccuracies and areas for improvement. To improve, focus on using more precise language and avoiding repetition. Also, ensure that all data is accurately represented and that the summary provides a comprehensive overview without unnecessary detail.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report generally presents the information in a logical order, moving from an overview to specific details. However, the writing could benefit from improved paragraphing and the use of more varied cohesive devices to enhance the flow and connection between ideas. For example, consider combining the second and third paragraphs to create a more substantial discussion of the main features. Also, avoid repetition by rephrasing similar ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more specific terms to describe the data. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'prefer,' consider alternatives like 'favor,' 'opt for,' or 'choose.' Also, ensure that the vocabulary is used accurately and appropriately within the context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. Focus on improving sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles and prepositions. Pay close attention to punctuation, especially commas and apostrophes. Review and correct errors to enhance the overall grammatical accuracy of your writing.

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