Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie chart below shows the native languages spoken by students at Bakersfield Senior College over two separate years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. - Write at least 150 words. - You should spend around 20 minutes on this task.

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Image for topic: The pie chart below shows the native languages spoken by students at Bakersfield Senior College over two separate years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. - Write at least 150 words. - You should spend around 20 minutes on this task.

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The image displays a pie chart titled "Smartphone Use by US Attorneys in one Year by Operating System" which shows the distribution of smartphone operating systems used. The percentages for each category are: Iphone 62%, Android 20%, BlackBerry 5%, Windows 3%, and None 10%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The pie chart illustrates the proportion of attorneys using four kind of smartphone operaring systems, Iphone, Android, Blackberry, and Windows.

As can be seen from the graph that most attorneys prefer using Iphone operating systems in their phones. However, other operating systems are also regularly used.

It is clear that Iphone reached the highest point at 62%. It is so high persentages compared to other operating systems called Android, Blackberry, and Windows which all together consist of 28%.

After the Iphone platforms, Android is the second widely-used system at 20%, while Blackberry and Windows are used very few at 3% and 5%. On the other hand, 10% of US attorneys who use no smartphone in their business .

Word Count: 118

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

systems: 4

iphone: 4

attorneys: 3

android: 3

blackberry: 3

operating: 3

other: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the requirements of the task, providing an overview of the pie chart and highlighting key features. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., the pie chart is about smartphone use, not native languages). To improve, ensure accurate data representation and consider a more structured approach with a clear overview, specific details, and concluding statement. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report generally presents the information in a logical order, but there are some areas where coherence could be improved. The introduction could be more concise, and the transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother. Consider using transition words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively. For example, instead of starting a new sentence with 'It is clear that,' try using phrases like 'Notably' or 'As shown in the chart.' Paragraphing is generally adequate, but ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main point.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there is room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'operating systems,' try using synonyms like 'platforms' or 'systems.' Also, consider using more specific vocabulary to describe the data, such as 'significant majority' instead of 'most.' Expanding your range of vocabulary will enhance the clarity and sophistication of your report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common errors include incorrect verb tenses ('reached' instead of 'reaches'), incorrect pluralization ('persentages' instead of 'percentages'), and awkward phrasing ('very few at 3% and 5%'). Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, and proper sentence structure. Reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully can help reduce these errors. Also, try to vary your sentence structure to improve the flow of your writing.

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